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Band 6.5

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

#ambition #quality #people #society #life
In
this
 modern world, it is beneficial for
individuals
 to have dreams because
life
 gets directionless without future
targets
. It is significant to have ambitions to be successful in
life
 and it is a positive characteristic as it
also
 helps
people
 to develop economically. It is an extremely vital quality that
people
 must have to be successful in their lives because dreams help them to set
targets
 and provide direction to the lives of humans when they set their
targets
, they work hard to gain those goals.
Moreover
, when
individuals
 already know what they want to achieve in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
then
 they prepare a proper schedule and work hard by focusing on specific things to retrieve those
targets
.
However
, if there is no goal that the masses want to gain
then
, it might lead to a lot of confusion in their
life
 and
this
 makes the
life
 cycle harder.
For example
, as per the sample survey of 2021, in India, the success rate of ambitious
people
 was 29 per cent
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 in comparison to non-ambitious
individuals
. It is a positive characteristic to have ambitions in
life
 because it assists them in figuring out their strength and weaknesses. When they know, what excellent skills they inherit and where they need improvement, it helps them to make changes
accordingly
 in plan and develop economically as well.
Individuals
 whose lives are directionless
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
can never think of earning higher returns in their
life
 as they never set any goals and can not have any predications to achieve them.
For example
, Ratan Tata a well-known businessman set a target in 2003 to become the richest man in the world by 2015 and he worked really hard to reach the position of successful entrepreneur and achieved his target by setting first oil refining plant in Gujrat, India which he earns 100 million dollars every year.
To conclude
, it is beneficial for
individuals
 to have ambitions in
life
 as they provide directions to
people
along with
this
 goals must be set by humans because they help in their financial growth.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed. In your essay, while the introduction sets a foundational argument about the importance of ambition, a more explicit mention of the points (importance in success, positive/negative aspects) would make it stronger.
logical structure
Strive to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that signals the content of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences with examples or explanations, and a concluding sentence that sums up the point made.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that your essay comprehensively answers all parts of the question. You've provided a strong argument on why ambition is important and positive, but expanding on potential negatives, even if to refute them, would provide a more balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, therefore, consequently) to link ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While the Ratan Tata example is effective, adding a contrastive example or incorporating more statistical evidence could enrich your argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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