Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Recently,
countries
all over the
world
have made international
cooperation
not only to help each other but
also
to improve our lives. I understand that
cooperation
is beneficial for protecting the
environment
, but at the same time, I think
this
is
also
profitable to
world
finances with many lucrative contracts.
Firstly
, protecting the
environment
by international contracts is important because people cannot live without natural resources and it provides essential things to us. By having international
cooperation
, many
countries
will make eco-friendly contracts that seem effective at reducing pollution or keeping it clean.
For instance
, a decade ago, there was an oil spill incident, which had a huge detrimental effect on the ocean
environment
.
Hence
, to solve
this
problem, a lot of organisations and
countries
worked together to recover the ocean
environment
, so they could have been able to clean it up quicker than we thought. I was amazed by how international
cooperation
is important to managing
world
problems, and I
also
have realised since that situation that protecting the
environment
is important.
On the other hand
, some may have claimed that developing
world
businesses
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more important. I understand
this
suggestion because
world
economies affect individual's lives. What
this
explains is that just imagine the US economy these days,
for instance
, as their finances went worse, other
countries
, including South Korea, are struggling with hard financial times.
In addition
, if we use international
cooperation
to develop
world
businesses, more investment and trade will arise which will improve not only
countries
' profits but
also
individuals' jobs or other chances.
Thus
, I believe improving
world
business seems beneficial for both individuals and corporations.
To sum up
, as compared above, international
cooperation
seems to have merits from both
environment
and
world
business.
However
, as a person who puts more value on environmental problems, I believe we should suggest more
cooperation
around the
world
to protect our
environment
and our lives.
Submitted by kchengii on

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task response
Your response is strong overall, but be sure to highlight both views more explicitly and balance them equally before stating your own opinion. Make sure that each standpoint is developed to a similar extent.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before by using more devices such as transitional phrases. This will make the essay flow better and increase readability.
coherence and cohesion
Try to add a bit more depth when discussing the points, perhaps by elaborating on how international cooperation benefits both environment and business, and including more specific examples for each.
coherence and cohesion
You’ve provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which neatly frame your discussion and opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses a logical structure, transitioning from discussing environmental benefits to business benefits, and then delivering your viewpoint. This gives your essay a clear and effective organization.
task response
You have managed to incorporate relevant specific examples to support your main points, making the discussion more concrete and compelling.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • environmental policies
  • green technologies
  • combating climate change
  • global trade
  • foreign investments
  • international standards
  • regulations
  • global sustainability
  • mutually beneficial
  • long term well-being
  • complexity
  • balanced approach
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