Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the environment, others maintain that the major profit is the development of world business. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Recently,
countries
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all over the
world
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have made international
cooperation
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not only to help each other but
also
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to improve our lives. I understand that
cooperation
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is beneficial for protecting the
environment
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, but at the same time, I think
this
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is
also
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profitable to
world
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finances with many lucrative contracts.
Firstly
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, protecting the
environment
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by international contracts is important because people cannot live without natural resources and it provides essential things to us. By having international
cooperation
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, many
countries
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will make eco-friendly contracts that seem effective at reducing pollution or keeping it clean.
For instance
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, a decade ago, there was an oil spill incident, which had a huge detrimental effect on the ocean
environment
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.
Hence
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, to solve
this
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problem, a lot of organisations and
countries
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worked together to recover the ocean
environment
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, so they could have been able to clean it up quicker than we thought. I was amazed by how international
cooperation
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is important to managing
world
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problems, and I
also
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have realised since that situation that protecting the
environment
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is important.
On the other hand
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, some may have claimed that developing
world
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businesses
is
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are
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more important. I understand
this
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suggestion because
world
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economies affect individual's lives. What
this
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explains is that just imagine the US economy these days,
for instance
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, as their finances went worse, other
countries
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, including South Korea, are struggling with hard financial times.
In addition
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, if we use international
cooperation
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to develop
world
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businesses, more investment and trade will arise which will improve not only
countries
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' profits but
also
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individuals' jobs or other chances.
Thus
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, I believe improving
world
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business seems beneficial for both individuals and corporations.
To sum up
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, as compared above, international
cooperation
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seems to have merits from both
environment
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and
world
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business.
However
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, as a person who puts more value on environmental problems, I believe we should suggest more
cooperation
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around the
world
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to protect our
environment
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and our lives.
Submitted by kchengii on

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task response
Your response is strong overall, but be sure to highlight both views more explicitly and balance them equally before stating your own opinion. Make sure that each standpoint is developed to a similar extent.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before by using more devices such as transitional phrases. This will make the essay flow better and increase readability.
coherence and cohesion
Try to add a bit more depth when discussing the points, perhaps by elaborating on how international cooperation benefits both environment and business, and including more specific examples for each.
coherence and cohesion
You’ve provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which neatly frame your discussion and opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay uses a logical structure, transitioning from discussing environmental benefits to business benefits, and then delivering your viewpoint. This gives your essay a clear and effective organization.
task response
You have managed to incorporate relevant specific examples to support your main points, making the discussion more concrete and compelling.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • international cooperation
  • environmental policies
  • green technologies
  • combating climate change
  • global trade
  • foreign investments
  • international standards
  • regulations
  • global sustainability
  • mutually beneficial
  • long term well-being
  • complexity
  • balanced approach
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