IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

#nations #countries #relief #disasters
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Developed nations are obliged to provide humanitarian aid to underdeveloped countries when there is a catastrophe caused naturally. I agree with
this
 opinion because these undeveloped societies do not have the advanced technologies and resources to tackle
this
 emergency. It is the moral obligation of any human being to assist those who need immediate assistance.
Firstly
, Most developing countries lack advanced cutting-edge technologies and facilities in terms of disaster management and evacuation systems
due to
 the amount of investment to purchase the equipment and aircraft to transport their citizens in difficult periods.
For instance
, recently Turkey faced a severe earthquake, and the vast majority of advanced nations voluntarily extended their hands to rescue and evacuate those Turkish people who were trapped under the rubbles of collapsed concrete structures with the help of the latest detective devices.
on the other hand
, we all have a moral obligation to help our fellow mankind on difficult occasions.
Therefore
, advanced sovereign communities must offer their helping hands to the helpless people in case of any emergencies despite the border differences.
For example
, Singapore, the USA, Israel, and the UK were the first nations who deliver humanitarian aid to African communities when they were hit by extreme droughts. In conclusion, it is the duty and sense of responsibility of those rich countries to assist the underdeveloped nationals when there is calamity as those governments are incapable of rescuing their people
due to
 the unavailability of the latest technologies and equipment
thus
 it is the liability of every mankind to exchange our helping hands to those who are in an extremely difficult time.
Submitted by thanushan.kulathasan on

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task achievement
The essay has a clear stance on the issue and supports it with relevant examples. However, some arguments could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you capitalize the beginning of each sentence. For instance, 'on the other hand' should start with a capital 'O'.
coherence cohesion
Try to diversify your vocabulary and avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'helping hands,' you could use synonyms like 'assist' or 'aid.'
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute effectively to the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to reinforce the main points, such as the earthquake in Turkey and droughts in Africa.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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