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Band 5

It is better for students to live away from home while studying at univeristy than to live with parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#students #home #univeristy #parents
Nowaday's
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Nowadays
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students
 are opting to stay away from home
while
 studying at
college
 rather than staying with their
parents
.
However
,
this
 trend can cause serious issues
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 children, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
 in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it has become a major trend for
college
-going
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 to move away from home
while
 studying at
university
. One of the major
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is that the
students
 get
sense
Add an article
a sense
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 of
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
, they learn
on
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apply
show examples
how to manage their expenses and take care of daily chores, Apart from all these, they
also
 get freedom, which they have been craving for
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 long
time
.
Students
 can independently
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
 their own
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
, without any interference from their
parents
. Most of the
students
 enjoy
college
time
 and would like to cherish
college
 memories forever.
On the other hand
,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 staying away from family during
university
 find it difficult to manage after
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 period of
time
, it becomes really
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 for them to complete all the activities of managing home and
college
 simultaneously.
According to
 one study,
university
students
 staying alone are more prone to depression than
students
 staying with
parents
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, I would like to say that
university
students
 staying away from family and studying can make them responsible and independent, but it is important for them to share their feelings with
parents
 on
regular
Add an article
a regular
show examples
 basis so that they don't feel alone. One should make the decision to stay away from the family after considering all the factors and what suits them perfectly.
Submitted by neelima.sharma60 on

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content
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make it more convincing.
content
Ensure a better balance between opposing viewpoints. While you discussed both perspectives, elaborating equally on the cons will make your essay more balanced.
grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to avoid minor errors and improve readability.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability and provides a good structure.
content
You addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • life skills
  • manage finances
  • distractions
  • quiet study environment
  • social skills
  • sense of community
  • diverse backgrounds
  • time management
  • balance academic responsibilities
  • household chores
  • social activities
  • mature
  • sense of responsibility
  • financial burdens
  • utilities
  • affordable
  • emotional support
  • comfort
  • homesickness
  • stress
  • personal growth
  • handle challenges independently
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