many belive that young people should spend more of there free time with their family instead of other entertainment do you agree or disagree

#belive #people #time #entertainment

Workers or businessmen would spend a lot of leisure

time

with their family and relatives rather than other work or just friends. More individuals spend their free

time

with their

parents

and

children

because it is not a repetitive

time

Furthermore

, they do not forget their friends and coworkers.

For instance

, if

people

have any problems or rainy days in their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, others come to help them.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

youngseters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

should spend

precios

Correct your spelling

precious

time

with

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

, since these

memorise

Correct your spelling

memories

show examples

wan't

Correct your spelling

won't

want

come back .

However

yonug

Correct your spelling

young

people

opt for

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

instaed

Correct your spelling

instead

. It is important to be in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

relotinsgips

Correct your spelling

relationships

as well as

assist family members in difficult times .

Such

as many

middel-ages

Correct your spelling

middle-aged

people

appricate

Correct your spelling

appreciate

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

becouse

Correct your spelling

because

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

or garandparents

age

Correct your spelling

are

show examples

bigger than that type of

teenagers

Fix the agreement mistake

teenager

show examples

. And

then

they can be avoided . Many old ages

people

said that if

yonug

Correct your spelling

young

people

have got free

time

. They can

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

memorise for

instanse

Correct your spelling

instance

they can

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

combincte smalle

Correct your spelling

combine small

party or watching

Correct your spelling

show examples

with

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

family again cookin with mather walking with

grandparents

Correct pronoun usage

their grandparents

show examples

. And

teps

Correct your spelling

tips

steps

and lessons can be learned from them .

Becouse

Correct your spelling

Because

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

youth are older and

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

people

have found

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

place in life.

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

teenagers want to

spendther

Correct your spelling

spend their

spend the

time

with friends online games

as well as

that

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

chats

Fix the agreement mistake

chat

show examples

ther

Correct your spelling

the

program

Fix the agreement mistake

programs

show examples

. The most important , thing

wich

Correct your spelling

which

show examples

is most

teenagrs

Correct your spelling

teenagers

would

prefor

Correct your spelling

prefer

perform

alone.

Although

children

want to stay alone ,

Correct your spelling

show examples

affects

theri

Correct your spelling

their

psychologe

Correct your spelling

psychology

. First of at it is very

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

that

Change preposition

to that

show examples

type of humans. And there If middle-aged

children

were brought up under the care of their

parents

or grandparents, or if they were raised by other

people

such

children

have old-fashioned thoughts and, of course, an old worldview, and the worldview does not grow in them.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed May 15 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a basic structure, but the logical flow needs improvement. Try to organize your ideas more clearly and coherently.

Task Response

While you have addressed the topic, some of your points need more development and clarity. Make sure each paragraph expresses a single clear idea and use examples to support your points.

General

Work on improving your grammar and vocabulary usage. This will help make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.

Task Response

You have attempted to use specific examples to support your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have tried to include an introduction and a conclusion, which is good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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many belive that young people should spend more of there free time with their family instead of other entertainment do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer technology. It is used in business, crime detection and even to fly planes. What will it be used for in future? Is this dependence on technology a good thing or should we be suspicious of its benefits?

Write about the following topic: “Do you think extra-curricular activities are important in a student’s life?” Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think it is a waste of money to establish libraries since the public can use the Internet at home to obtain information, do you agree or disagree?