In some contries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Owning houses has been considered a primary aspect of wealth conditions more than renting in several countries. In
this
essay, the reasons and both the advantages and disadvantages will be discussed before reaching my conclusion.
To begin
with, there are several reasons that people lean towards owning their houses. Firstly
, it is a tradition and culture that some family
want to live all together in the Fix the agreement mistake
families
house
. For instance
, the direct family who has more than 5 family members need a room for each person. Hence
, renting a house
that supports all the needs of the family turns out to be more expensive than purchasing a new one.
Secondly
, some parents want to buy a house
in order to make sure that the new generation gets a place to live in the future. The new generation understands that renting accommodations is not stable enough due to
the fact that the contract they have made with the owner of the rented house
could be cancelled at any time.
In addition
, buying their own apartment brings both positive and negative effects.
On the one hand, the family will have their own space and privacy. Helping them find a place where to relax from the noisy city. For example
, they might have space to exercise, to take care of their body or build up a lounge where spend time together. On the other hand
, even if parents buy the house
, they cannot guarantee that their children will stay in that house
when they grow up. Otherwise
Add a comma
Otherwise,
this
could be considered as a waste of money.
All in all, it is true that family needs to own their own property instead
of renting in some countries. However
it has both benefits and drawbacks when buying house
, buyers should consider all the aspects before making a decision.Add an article
a house
Submitted by agostinoninonem on
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task response
The essay meets the requirements of the task, but you could further elaborate on the reasons why owning a home is important. Providing more examples or statistics would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear and logical structure in your essay. However, try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve coherence. For instance, separating the point about privacy and space from the point about generational stability would help.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that, if corrected, could enhance the clarity of your ideas. For instance, "a house that supports all the needs of the family" could be rephrased to "a house that meets all the family's needs."
introduction conclusion present
You provide a good introduction and conclusion, setting the stage and summarizing your points effectively.
supported main points
You touch upon several key reasons why people prefer owning homes, such as tradition and family stability.
task achievement
The essay mentions both advantages and disadvantages of owning a home, which gives a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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