In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.
Whilst many think that
advertisements
of various types of junk foods must not be banned as these adverts
do not make people
obese, while
I believe that as obesity
is one of the most common health issues which people
around the world are suffering from, so there is a need to stop the advertisements
related to snack food
because these adverts
play a major role in promoting this
type of food
.
To begin
with, people
who think that these adverts
do not have any role in the problem of obesity
claim that, there are so many other reasons which are responsible for obesity
. First of all, lack of physical activity and exercise, for example
, due to
technological advancements, individuals mostly have to work with computers, so a sedentary lifestyle makes people
obese as they do not participate in any indoor or outdoor activity. Besides
this
, genetic factors can also
contribute to obesity
, we have seen that some people
do not eat fast food
, but due to
heridity factor, they have excess fat in their body tissues.
However
, I support the argument that many large multinational organisations promote their packed food
via advertisements
in order to lure people
, and children are the most vulnerable targets. Moreover
, with the adverts
they reveal their newer food
products, also
these advertisements
entice people
to try these processed foods. In addition
, if we talk about various restaurant chains, for example
, Mcdonald's, KFC, Domino, and Red Rooster, they always have promotional deals on their menus like meal deals or free cans of soft drinks with any meal
, and they promote these deals via Fix the agreement mistake
meals
advertisements
to attract people
, and thus
, people
buy these foods which are full of calories.
In conclusion, although
there are other reasons for obesity
as well like genes and lack of physical activity, still I am convinced by the argument that promotional activities through advertisements
of junk food
attract people
to buy them, which leads to overeating of calories, and thus
leads to detrimental health problem, obesity
.Submitted by harleenarora620 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task, presenting a balanced discussion and providing your own opinion. However, a bit more depth in the counterarguments would strengthen it even further.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, but there are a few areas where the wording could be smoother or more precise. For example, 'due to heridity factor' should be 'due to hereditary factors'.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Nonetheless, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied transitions to enhance coherence. For instance, instead of starting consecutive sentences with 'However' and 'Moreover', try alternatives like 'Nevertheless' or 'Furthermore'.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion, which is crucial for this task.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific fast-food chains and their marketing strategies.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to follow, with a logical progression of ideas and clear paragraph divisions.