People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Nowadays, attending universities or colleges has never been more necessary and important for most students. To examine the cause of
this
prevailing phenomenon, Linking Words
this
essay will outline three prominent factors.
First and foremost, young people are under rapidly rising duress imposed by the job market. The intensifying competition between workers has magnified the demand for better qualifications as an indicator of ability and suitability. Linking Words
For example
, many kindergartens in Chinese cities have raised their job application threshold to a bachelor’s degree, making those who do not qualify vulnerable to unemployment. Linking Words
Thus
, as a fount of employment alternatives, campuses have gained immense popularity in recent years.
Linking Words
Second,
domestic stress and requirements may have a huge influence on one’s decision-making. In most Asian societies, Linking Words
such
as China, India, and Japan, deeply influenced by social values, it is a ubiquitous opinion that top-tier education is the ultimate determinant of success. Linking Words
Also
, parents and teachers often imbue ideas like those who fail academically have no future on children, which can entrench the thought deeply in evolving minds.
The Linking Words
last
major contributor is mainly personal. Universities are attractive and enticing to many for their diversity, knowledge, varied activities, and freedom. Linking Words
While
some strive for a position on campus because they long for the invaluable enlightenment and resources, others are there simply for the liberty that living with parents does not contain.
As has been demonstrated, universities are accumulating applications mostly because they can enhance the possibility of getting a job, make family members satisfied, and meet the varied demands of individuals.Linking Words
Submitted by yanjinru0827 on
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General
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to maintain a logical progression of ideas within the body paragraphs to enhance readability.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve transitional phrases and linking words to ensure smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
While your essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively, incorporating more specific examples and evidence can further bolster your arguments.
Introduction
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the essay, providing context and stating the main points that will be discussed.
Structure
You’ve provided a clear and logical structure to your essay, with each paragraph covering distinct reasons why people attend college or university.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces the essay's message.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.