Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the way to prohibit illness and disease by cutting down natural degradation and housing issues. In my opinion, I would contend that I consider myself an advocate of

this

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notion. Without a shadow of a doubt, environmental contamination

plays

Verb problem

has

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such

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an imperative impact on people’s health problems.

This

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could be because of the influence of

humans’

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humans

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acts

such

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as releasing carbon dioxide in industrial factories, cutting down blocks of trees or expelling wasted water. Particularly, when people interact with those pollutants, they will have a tendency to suffer from serious illnesses.

For example

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, the respiratory system is one of the most crucial parts of a human’s body which is

also

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dramatically affected by emissions leading to several sicknesses like lung cancer. By doing so, the quality of

humans’

Fix the agreement mistake

human’

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health is extremely decreased, which takes a high death toll in lots of nations.

Hence

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, the governments should bear a radical responsibility of preventing illness by dwindling natural contamination by being kind

with

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people’s nature with eco-lifestyle.

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the impact of environmental degradation on humans’ health is widely acknowledged, housing problems are

also

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other factors affecting

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dire problem.

For example

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, Ho Chi Minh

city

Capitalize word

City

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, one of the biggest metropolises in Vietnam,

besides

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having blocks of top-notch buildings, there are

also

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slum areas where they need to cope with sewage and heating systems without ventilation. Those destinations easily suffer from a huge pandemic, especially COVID-19 because they are practically

miniscule

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minuscule

where

this

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dangerous virus may rapidly spread inside

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

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closed

surrounding

Fix the agreement mistake

surroundings

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, so the outbreak is inevitable.

Therefore

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, authorities must utilize their power in order to expand the land for the poor which may prevent the loss of lives. In conclusion, illness and disease are the main reasons affecting individuals’ lives, and governors have to use their political power to stop

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this

Correct determiner usage

these

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matters as soon as possible.

hominhtrang995

May 17, 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the prompt and includes relevant examples. It addresses the key issues of environmental pollution and housing problems effectively. However, the clarity of ideas can be improved in certain parts. For instance, the second paragraph can be more concise by avoiding repetitive phrases.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are some areas where the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion on environmental pollution and housing problems could be more fluid.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets the context and states the writer's opinion clearly. The conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points and reiterates the stance.

supported main points

The essay uses relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the impact of emissions on respiratory health and the housing issues in Ho Chi Minh City.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagreewith this statement?

It is more important for schoolchilrend to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? (CONG THANH)

crimes by minors on the rise in recent times. the psychologists claim that the fundamental reason for this is that children these days are lacking the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children are having to much free time and this time should be use to study more. To what extent do you agree with this statement?