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Band 6

me countries, many people do not have enough money to access the internet. Should governments be responsible for ensuring that everyone can get access to the internet?

#countries #people #money #access #internet #governments
A vast majority of
people
 argue that governments should pay for their
Internet
 connection
due to
 the shortage of money, meanwhile, others believe that the ministry is not responsible for that. The government should provide
people
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access , as it is pricey and not everyone can purchase it ,
while
 the population uses Wifi most of the time incorrectly by scrolling through TikTok, Instagram and Facebook. On the one hand, it is costly now to have the
Internet
, so the crowd is demanding free Wi-fi from the government. If you want to pay for something in a restaurant, store or market, they would ask for online payment, as in modern times no one pays in cash.
For example
, in Kazakhstan, in 2016, individuals developed an online payment called Kaspi. It is easy to use that, as the minute you can buy or order something on the
Internet
, so everyone is struggling
due to
 the cost of that.
On the other hand
, politicians are not obliged to invest a large amount of money for that access for
t he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 reason that some individuals use it in the wrong way by spending their time on unuseful apps. If they really want to entertain themselves, they should earn capital on their own.
For example
, in 1999, in Russia, when ministers provided the city with free maps , locals started cheating by stealing
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 and selling them for money about 3-5$ to
people
 who came from other countries. In conclusion, the officials should provide
Internet
 access to everyone, as it is expensive,
while
 these
people
 can use it in the wrong way like for entertainment.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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support main points
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main points. This will help in making your arguments more compelling and grounded.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some sentences are a bit awkward and contain grammar errors. Consider revising and proofreading to improve clarity and correctness.
introduction conclusion present
While you have a conclusion, it might be beneficial to elaborate a bit more on your final point to reinforce your arguments effectively.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.
complete response
Your essay addresses the task prompt properly and includes relevant examples to support your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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