IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

"Some people believe that online education is as effective as traditional classroom education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about the effectiveness of traditional and online
education
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that online classrooms have the same effectiveness as traditional ones, others argue against it. In my opinion, I tend to believe that traditional
education
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial than online.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, traditional
education
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in developing individuals’ interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
students'
Correct your spelling
students
students
Use synonyms
 abilities to communicate and socialize can increase through in-person
education
Use synonyms
, as it enables them to interact with their classmates and teachers.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some
activities
Use synonyms
 that are done in usual classrooms,
such
Linking Words
 as brainstorming as a group to solve problems, are not available in online classes, as these types of
activities
Use synonyms
 develop
students
Use synonyms
’ social and interaction
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, an American study conducted in 2023 found that pupils’ socializing
skills
Use synonyms
 have increased through traditional
education
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
. Another point to consider is that both the concentration and practical
skills
Use synonyms
 are improved through traditional classrooms, enhancing the student’s educational growth. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that when pupils are surrounded by their classmates and teachers that may help them to focus more on their lectures, and gain the needed
skills
Use synonyms
 through practising different
activities
Use synonyms
 that require work as a team.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can help
students
Use synonyms
 to obtain various
skills
Use synonyms
 that are required by the workplace, like teamwork
skills
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the British government found that individuals who graduated during COVID-19 had fewer
skills
Use synonyms
 than those who graduated before
this
Linking Words
 pandemic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because during COVID-19,
students
Use synonyms
 had enforced to study online. In conclusion, the effectiveness of traditional
education
Use synonyms
 outweighs online one, as
this
Linking Words
 types of
education
Use synonyms
 provide
students
Use synonyms
 with different benefits, including the enhancement of social
skills
Use synonyms
 and the development of concentration and practical
skills
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe traditional
education
Use synonyms
 is more effective than online.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion, which clearly state your opinion and summarize your main ideas. This helps in providing a strong direction to your essay.
logical structure
Make sure to consistently link your ideas logically. Although the essay has a logical flow, adding a few more linking phrases can help in maintaining coherence throughout.
supported main points
Your main points are well supported, but consider expanding on the examples and details to strengthen your arguments further.
complete response
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Though your opinion is clear, discussing counterarguments briefly might add depth to your task achievement.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas further. While your points are generally clear, some additional explanation or elaboration on certain points could improve comprehensiveness.
relevant specific examples
Your examples are relevant and help illustrate your points, but consider adding a bit more specificity to make them even more compelling.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, making your stance clear.
logical structure
You maintain a consistent position throughout the essay, which contributes to coherence.
supported main points
The argument about traditional education enhancing social and practical skills is presented clearly and is well supported with examples.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: