IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company’s manager. In your letter: give details of the celebration explain the reason why you need time off suggest a way to have your work done during that time.

#work #company #time #celebration #company’s #manager #reason
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to request
for
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apply
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a two-week break for my sister's wedding. The celebrations will start on the 8th of November so as per the company's policy I am requesting time off one month earlier. As there will be numerous events held for her
so
Correct word choice
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it will
last
 for one week starting with the bachelor party, Mehndi event on the following day, dance party, Games on the other night, an official wedding day at
last
 a reception. I need the vacation as I am the only sibling of my sister so It is my responsibility to visit my family to ensure that everything is going well and up-to-date to give them a hand in household chores. I have already started to complete my work for those upcoming two weeks so that my workplace does not get affected.I will ensure you that I will complete all the given assignments prior to the due date. I will be eagerly waiting for your response. Yours Sincerely, Ravinder Kaur
Submitted by rk366704 on

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task achievement
Although the letter covers all the required points, providing even more specific details about the arrangements for your work could strengthen your request. For example, explicitly stating who will cover your tasks and how you plan to ensure a smooth transition will enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammar and punctuation errors that slightly affect the clarity of your message. For example, 'I am writing this letter to request for a two-week break for my sister's wedding' can be more smoothly written as 'I am writing to request a two-week break to attend my sister's wedding.'
task achievement
Your tone is professional and courteous, which is appropriate for this type of formal communication. Maintaining this friendly yet respectful tone is crucial in workplace correspondence.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your letter well, covering the celebration details, reason for the time off, and suggesting how the work can be managed during your absence. This clear organization helps your reader follow the information easily.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Request for leave
  • Family milestone
  • Ceremonial occasion
  • Advance notice
  • Dedicated employee
  • Delegation of duties
  • Seamless transition
  • Workload management
  • Collegial support
  • Gratitude for understanding
  • Continuity of operations
  • Resuming duties
What to do next:
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