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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate over the best way to teach
children
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 to behave well. Some people agree that
punishment
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 is the best approach to teaching
children
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,
while
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 others believe that rewarding and praising them is the best way. I agree with rewarding and praising because we cannot change
children
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's
behaviour
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 by using
punishment
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, which can damage their psyche.
However
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, using
punishment
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 can sometimes help parents deal with difficult
behaviour
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 in
children
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. Using
punishment
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 to teach
children
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 good
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 may seem like an effective approach, but it has many disadvantages.
Firstly
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, it can harm
children
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's psyche, making them fearful throughout their childhood.
Moreover
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,
punishment
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 can sometimes teach
children
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 to focus more on avoiding consequences rather than learning the right behaviours or developing a sense of responsibility. They might not understand why their actions were wrong, only that there’s a negative outcome if they do something wrong.
In contrast
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, using praise and rewards helps
children
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 understand the connection between good
behaviour
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 and positive outcomes. When they receive praise for their actions, they feel a sense of accomplishment and begin to internalize the values behind their
behaviour
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. They are more likely to repeat the
behaviour
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 because they understand that it’s not just about avoiding
punishment
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, but about achieving something positive, like gaining approval or feeling good about themselves.
Furthermore
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, rewarding positive
behaviour
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 fosters a positive relationship between
children
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 and adults.
Children
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 are more likely to trust and listen to caregivers when they feel understood and supported, rather than feared.
This
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 creates a healthier environment for learning and development.
Punishment
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,
on the other hand
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, can lead to resentment and rebellion. Over time,
children
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 may begin to view adults as authority figures to be avoided rather than trusted guides. They might act out of fear or in response to the pressure of being punished, rather than out of a genuine understanding of right and wrong.

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Relevant Specific Examples
While you've effectively discussed both views on the topic, consider including more specific examples or studies to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the subject.
Logical Structure
Organize your paragraphs to clearly separate the discussion of both viewpoints before presenting your own opinion. This helps maintain clarity and ensures the reader understands each perspective before your conclusion.
Complete Response
Your essay presents a clear and balanced discussion of both punishment and reward as methods of teaching children good behavior.
Introduction Conclusion Present
The introduction and conclusion are clearly articulated, reinforcing your perspective effectively.
Supported Main Points
The essay makes a good use of supporting arguments to explain why praising is more effective than punishing when dealing with children's behavior.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punishment
  • reward
  • reinforcement
  • discipline
  • boundary
  • behavior
  • self-esteem
  • motivation
  • intrinsic
  • consequence
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • resentment
  • positive learning environment
  • balanced approach
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