Children are now less active in their free time than in the past. Therefore, sports lessons must be compulsory in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that nowadays children are not keen on physical activities as much as they used to be in the past. Some people say that physical education classes should be obligatory for kids at school. I agree with
this
statement and in this
essay, I will explain my own opinion.
On the one hand, sporting hours are vital for school-age children, I do not believe that such
educational programs must be mandatory. Making these programs compulsory in schools may result in unfair decisions and bad behaviours could emerge in a group of students who have no interest. The reason behind that is
not every child is physically fit to participate in sports
. Only suitable and willing students can take part in the optional stream of playful activities. Additionally
, this
would be a waste of time because children could spend more time on important subjects such
as science or foreign languages by speaking English or knowledge of maths would be more beneficial for pupils' future.
On the other hand
, making physical education obligatory in schools will solve many problems in today's society. Firstly
, compulsory sports
lessons
will compensate for children’s lack of movement. For instance
, youngsters nowadays spend too much time using all kinds of electronic devices like smartphones or TVs. Therefore
, playing sports
at school would help students get enough movement to keep fit. Secondly
, sports
lessons
are equally beneficial for children’s mental development, as playing sports
conveys important values such
as the importance of cooperation, discipline and self-confidence. Finally
, the lessons
learned through sports
remain, providing a strong basis for a healthy and meaningful life.
To sum up
, sports
lessons
have a positive impact on students’ minds and bodies. I believe that sports
lessons
should be made mandatory in schools.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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task achievement
Your essay generally responds to the task, however, some points could be more thoroughly explored. Consider adding more detailed evidence and expanding on your arguments to fully achieve the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and cohesion are generally good, but there's a slight inconsistency. Ensure each paragraph contributes effectively to the overall argument and maintain a clearer distinction between your points of view. Transition sentences can help improve the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
There appears to be a mixture of agreement and disagreement in your points. Decide on a clear stance and develop it consistently throughout the essay to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong and effectively frame your essay. Good job on providing a summary and final opinion in your conclusion.
task achievement
The essay covers different aspects of the topic, showing good overall knowledge and engagement with the subject matter.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument well.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally supported with explanations. This aids in reader understanding.