The rise of social media has affected personal relatioships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages ?
It is true that the amount of people who use social media is significant and it affects personal relationships because of not having enough pastime with each other. I support the assertion the disadvantages of social communication far outweigh its benefits.
To begin
with, these days more and more individuals tend to sit on media platforms and prefer not to go to face-to-face meetings,
because there are a lot of choices for leisure time and they can have a conversation with two or three groups of people at the same time. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, it is comfortable to set the conference one after one immediately by economing the hours to change the location. Technology can connect workers in different countries and they can communicate via email, online networks and video conferencing. For instance
, a recent survey by The Times found that 9 out of 10 humans choose to have a meeting online rather than make contact with others.
There are, however
, some drawbacks that can easily overwhelm the potential benefits of online gatherings. People who would rather use a network website often get used to not speaking in front of the public and therefore
it can lead to being afraid of speaking in real life. That is
why say, a person gets an experience by practicing it daily. For example
, the absence of in-person interactions can be a result of decreased brainstorming effectiveness, weakened team dynamics, and potential miscommunication.
In conclusion, there are merits and demerits sides of the internet community and it seems to me that it has a beneficial impact on human life to save time, and the positive aspects of social networks outweigh their negative aspects.Submitted by omarovaa.access on
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task achievement
The essay needs a clearer stance. The introduction should plainly state whether the advantages or disadvantages of social media outweigh the other, without ambiguity.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support the arguments, as this strengthens the task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a singular focus and connects smoothly to the next. Clearer transitions would help improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Revise the sentence structures to enhance clarity. More complex structures are encouraged, but they should be clear and not confusing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The topic has been addressed, discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of using social media for communication.
task achievement
There are some attempts to support points with examples, making the argument more concrete.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...