IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries should produce the food that their population eats, and import as little as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons, examples to your answer.

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It is believed that countries should not spend their money on importing
food
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 as much as they can and it is suggested that they should meet their people's
food
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 demands by themselves. In my opinion, recent technological advances have
abled
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enabled
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 countries to import their needs cheaper and easier and now it is unnecessary to produce with a high
cost
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 to avoid importing.
Moreover
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, there are dozens of
food
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materials
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 that cannot be planted or produced in certain areas based on their climate and by communication, it is highly achievable to have access to all of them. It is crystal clear that importing can
cost
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 a fortune for every government
however
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, what can change the fact is the
cost
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 of developing an industry and providing raw
materials
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 for them.
In addition
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 to
this
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, in today's world, goods transportation is much cheaper than before and the
materials
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 can be delivered to the destination country as soon as possible.
For example
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, a sauce-producing company in Iran provides their raw material from Italy because they cannot achieve the quality they have.
Furthermore
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, every country has a specific climate which is appropriate for planting certain fruits and vegetables. It is considerably expensive to run a greenhouse and plant demanding raw
materials
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due to
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 the high
cost
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 of electricity and CO2 and
as a result
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, countries would rather interact with themselves and provide each other's demands.
For instance
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, every day hundreds of ships transport
mango
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mangoes
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 from India to Iran and on the way back, they deliver oranges that are planted in the north of Iran to India.
To conclude
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, I believe
although
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 it can be expensive for a government to meet their individual demands for
food
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 by importing, the more convenient ways of transportation
due to
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 the development of technology and the high
cost
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 of expanding industry to provide foods artificially, can result that importing is a more beneficial way to meeting people's
food
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 demand.

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task achievement
Clarify your position more distinctly in the introduction to ensure the reader clearly understands your stance from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied transitional phrases to enhance the essay's logical flow and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly connects its main ideas back to the thesis statement.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the task with clear arguments and relevant examples, offering a complete response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong, clearly setting up and summarizing the argument.
task achievement
The essay offers a well-structured analysis with reasonable justification and examples, such as the transportation of mangoes and oranges, supporting the main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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