In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

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Obesity has been an indisputable issue in societies in recent decades. Some
people
believe that junk
food
advertising is a major factor for
this
problem and should be banned
while
others think that banning fast
food
advertisements
can not be the key factor to deter
people
from being obese. In forthcoming paragraphs, both views are discussed correctly and I will give my perspectives about it.
To begin
with, there is an indisputable fact that, massive
advertisements
can make
people
eager to buy readymade
food
considerably.
In addition
, sales and bonuses (one is free for every three burgers which are bought) affect
people
’s eating habits deeply and ironically they become the victims of fast
food
chains.
Moreover
, fast
food
is completely convenient , quick and reasonably cheap which can be affordable for all consumers.
And
Correct word choice
Advertisements
show examples
advertisements
try to impress these qualities for making readymade
food
be well-known in popular broadcasts and media
such
as TV, Radio channels and newspapers.
This
can be the reason for individuals think that
advertisements
on fast
food
should be forbidden.
On the other hand
, it can be completely incorrect if ads are considered as the only main factor to cause
people
’s obesity. Not doing exercises regularly, and inappropriate eating habits are basic causes of being fat. Thereby individuals are incapable of losing extra calories which are gained from readymade snacks
due to
not working out. Sometimes it is commonly seen that some individuals have a good shape and a proper choice for their healthy diet in spite of the fact that their surrounding is covered with
such
advertisements
in fast
food
restaurants.
Hence
, educational centres and governments should focus on improving
people
’s awareness of unhealthy
food
.
To sum up
, prohibiting fast
food
advertising can not be the only solution to solve
this
issue as some
people
believe.
Otherwise
, the government and schools can set up some measures that can provide information about unhealthy
food
, encourage
people
to go to the gym and create an opportunity to know the detrimental effects of fast
food
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. While the essay is well-organized, some ideas can be more distinctively separated for better clarity.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention particular studies or data that support the points being made about advertising and obesity.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasings. For instance, review sentences for proper preposition and article usage; this will make your writing smoother and more professional.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which is crucial for a higher score.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are appropriately crafted, providing a clear start and end to the discussion.
task achievement
The examples provided are generally relevant, which helps in presenting a cohesive argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • junk food
  • advertising
  • banning
  • influence
  • dietary habits
  • calories
  • nutrients
  • exposure
  • impressionable
  • lifestyle choices
  • physical activity
  • nutrition education
  • balanced diet
  • freedom of choice
  • market economy
  • informed decisions
  • manipulated
  • advertisements
  • combat obesity
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