IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing taffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree. What measure do you think might be effective.

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One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in vehicles and pollution. Some crowds believe that the hike in price may reduce the movement of folks and environmental issues. It completely disagrees and environmental pollution is dangerous, which invites global warming but it cannot solve the problem until some positive steps. In the end, I will advise what precautions we must take to save the earth.
Firstly
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, the main reason is that nowadays people have good jobs and they do not care about money spent on fuel. Another factor is the lack of
transport
Use synonyms
 facilities in regional areas, it becomes difficult for commuters to travel to their workplaces. It can be seen in many areas that the reach of public
transport
Use synonyms
 is minimal, so those who do not have any other options but
instead
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 travel by their own motor.
For example
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, newly developed areas take time to provide all facilities
such
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 as
transport
Use synonyms
 and build train links.
As a result
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, it is evident that employees are using their motor cars to drive to destinations.
Secondly
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, the primary reason is to develop local job opportunities
such
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 as industries and shopping complexes, so people can get jobs in their local regions.
In addition
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, a campaign should be run by the Government and explain the drawbacks of sound and environmental issues.
For instance
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, in the United States of America, the authorities have been complaining since 2010 and explaining about upcoming threats from global warming.
As a consequence
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, it is apparent why humans have a penchant towards serious global warming. In conclusion, following the analysis of the topic,
it is clear that
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 if Authorities do not take action on time it may ruin our earth and damage our upcoming generation’s future. In my opinion, the regime should provide facilities
such
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 as
transport
Use synonyms
 and local job opportunities, so adults will not travel far from their residences.
Further
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, it is predicted that
this
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 issue is going to continue in the future as well until effective arrangements.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports or develops a central idea. Improving the connection between the points within paragraphs would enhance coherence.
task achievement
While you have provided relevant examples, try to make the links between the example and your argument clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay addresses the prompt and includes an introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have included relevant ideas and examples to support your points.
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