Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There exist a multitude of initiatives which can be undertaken to improve the
traffic
jams caused by cars, ranging from improving the public transit network to making bus tickets more affordable. Some individuals contend that restricting personal-use
vehicles
in city centres will be a beneficial solution to solve the congestion crisis,
while
others argue it will be hard to achieve in reality.
This
essay will delve into both perspectives
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and give a concluding view.
To begin
with, banning the use of private
vehicles
in city centres would reduce the number of four-wheelers on the road, which are majorly responsible for choked roads. In Gdansk, Poland,
for instance
, private
vehicles
are not allowed to operate in the Old Town, resulting in a complete absence of
traffic
problems.
This
can be implemented with stringent government regulations with hefty fines.
This
will
also
lead to less emissions,
thus
also
decreasing the air pollution caused by
such
vehicles
.
On the other hand
, is restricting car usage the most effective way to decrease congestion? Perhaps, these rules will encourage drivers to take other routes, which will just deviate the cars,
instead
of addressing the root problem. So the implementation of these strict policies is not a realistic way to achieve accessible roads. Another effective remedy is improving the public transportation infrastructure, by increasing its connectivity and accessibility
for example
.
This
would lead to people preferring to commute via the subway system, which can be witnessed in Tokyo and Singapore.
As a result
of
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
almost no
traffic
jams are seen in these cities. In conclusion,
although
the restriction of private
vehicles
in the city centres seems a good way to curb the road congestion challenge, it is only a superficial solution. I believe
this
to be unrealistic, and contend that other initiatives,
such
as advancing the metro lines, will work more effectively in mitigating
traffic
in the long term.
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task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views and contains a clear opinion. However, it would benefit from more evenly developed arguments. The opposing view could be expanded further with more detailed reasoning or examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong and ideas are well-organized. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Linking phrases can be used to better connect ideas, enhancing the overall flow.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph fully develops a single idea, avoiding any potential mix of arguments within a single paragraph.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides and providing an opinion. This shows a comprehensive approach to the task.
task achievement
Examples like the situation in Gdansk, Poland and comparisons to cities like Tokyo and Singapore effectively illustrate points and strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.
coherence cohesion
The ideas are logically organized and generally connected in a coherent manner.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • privately owned vehicles
  • ban
  • city centers
  • traffic congestion
  • air pollution
  • noise levels
  • urban environment
  • public transport
  • environmentally friendly
  • healthier lifestyle
  • commuting
  • congestion charges
  • peak times
  • environment-friendly vehicles
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