It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

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Learning what is considered good and bad is crucial for
children
. I completely agree with
this
statement because
this
is the basic for
children
that have a crucial role when they are adults. It is
also
crucial to give them educational punishment when they do something wrong. It is widely accepted that educating
children
to differentiate what something is right or wrong becomes
this
is the foundation for their adult life. The childhood period is a golden age for every human being that influences personal behaviour, which means that
this
time is vital for them. Japanese
children
, for example, are well known for their discipline and politeness because they do not learn a lot about school subjects,
instead
educate them with moral qualities
such
as honesty, respect for older people, and obeying societal norms.
Therefore
, they can easily understand that they are restricted from doing something incorrect,
such
as leaving home without permission, coming late to class and bullying others. These qualities are the major reasons why Japanese people are well-known for their kindness, hard work and other positive behaviours. Educational
punishments
are the best option when
children
do not obey the rules. A child who is late to go to class could be punished by cleaning up the classroom or memorizing some English vocabulary. Giving them
such
punishment not only would force them to be a better child but
also
improve their academic achievements. A wide range of
punishments
could be introduced to the school curriculum
such
as writing a story, giving presents to vulnerable groups and even helping others.
Hence
, it is vital for teachers and parents to avoid physical
punishments
that may bring
children
to depression or low self-esteem. In conclusion, it is argued that
children
should learn about right and wrong at an early age since it is foundational for their life.
However
, when they do not obey the rules, they should be punished with a variety of educational
punishments
.
Submitted by salwafahanim on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the two parts of the essay question. While you did mention the importance of children learning right from wrong and suggested forms of punishment, providing a more structured roadmap can enhance clarity in your introduction.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will help in maintaining the flow of the essay and guiding the reader through your argument seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be made more concise for better clarity. This will help in effectively communicating your ideas without unnecessary repetition.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear perspective on the importance of teaching children right from wrong, supported by relevant examples such as the behavior of Japanese children.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument presented.
task achievement
You effectively propose educational punishments and justify why they are beneficial, avoiding physical punishments which can have negative effects.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral education
  • decision-making
  • appropriate punishment
  • reinforce
  • consequences
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • natural consequences
  • harsh punishment
  • emotional damage
  • positive reinforcement
  • fair and measured punishments
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