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Band 6

Write an essay about the advantages and disadvantages of fast food.

#food
Nowadays,when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation, a tendency to
become
Verb problem
make
show examples
 fast
food
 common among
people
 can be observed. It is agreed, that the main advantage of
this
 issue is the appearance of the ability to spend less time cooking;
while
 the main drawback is the harm which
this
 kind of
food
 provides to our body.
This
 essay,
firstly
,will discuss what positive developments encourage
people
 to eat fast
food
,followed by an analysis of reasons why it is considered to be harmful.
To begin
 with, these days
people
 are so busy
due to
 their work requirements that cooking is one of the things on which they do not have a desire to spend their free time.
Therefore
, fast
food
 appeared to be a solution to
this
 problem ,as it can be bought or cooked quickly.
Moreover
, the price for burgers or pizzas is slightly lower in comparison with other
food
 which can be ordered in the restaurant.
For example
, in Canada person would spend around 20$ to have lunch at McDonald's,
while
 in an Asian or Italian restaurant, only salad will cost around 25$.
Thus
, from these sides of view, fast
food
 is beneficial for humanity.
On the other hand
, there is an abundance of evidence that
this
 type of
food
 has an adverse impact on
people
's health ,which is an overwhelming disadvantage.
For example
, one medium-sized fry and burger contains around 1000 calories,which is more than half of the average daily rate.
Furthermore
, it is high in fats and carbohydrates ,
therefore
 regular eating of
this
 type of
food
 can lead to obesity,problems with the cardiovascular system and diabetes.
Nevertheless
,
people
 are aware of the risks but the number of fast
food
-oriented restaurants has increased dramatically.
To conclude
,
this
 essay agrees that
this
 situation has two points of view,
however
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 consequences definitely outweigh the advantages,so
people
 should take
this
 problem seriously.
Submitted by amina.ilyuk8 on

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Task Achievement
Enhance clarity and assertiveness in the introduction. Make sure your thesis statement directly addresses the prompt and plans your essay.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and data to back up your arguments. This strengthens your essay and demonstrates a broader understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on transitioning more smoothly between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Attempt to diversify your sentence structure and vocabulary. This can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Task Achievement
Aim for a more detailed conclusion that doesn’t just summarize, but also reflects on the implications or suggests solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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