Nowadays youngsters are less polite and less respectful than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this issue?
Currently,
people
have different views as to whether young people
are impolite and less respectful than in the past. This
essay will express the reason for the problem and explain the solution. Despite the fact that youngsters are less polite and they do not have respect
an important issue, I believe that it can resolve this
issue when children
grow up.
On the one hand, some children
lack maturity and they have no experience. This
is due to
the fact that nowadays, children
usually trust that everybody is equal while
in the real world, seniority is crucial in my country's society
. For example
, when young people
apply to some company and they have to interview with an employer. If they have impolite behaviour, they do not receive an offer from the company. As a result
, if young people
have politeness and respect
for others, they will easily stay in society
.
On the other hand
, we can resolve problems by teaching children
that they should respect
other people
if young people
want other people
to respect
them too. This
is because we should tell youngsters that they have empathy for other people
around them. For instance
, when young people
want to do something if they are polite to other people
, they will receive support from people
around them. Therefore
, they can easily do everything the the future.
In conclusion, in my perspective, we should give good examples and teach them about seeing the value of others. Thus
, everybody in society
plays an essential role in developing society
Submitted by name79sinlapa on
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task achievement
While your essay covers the topic adequately, consider elaborating a bit more on each point to ensure a fuller response. Adding more examples for each point can also strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is mostly coherent, but try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly into the next. To improve cohesion, use more transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is a bit brief. Summarize your main points more clearly and reinforce your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You clearly stated the topic and purpose of the essay in the introduction, making it immediately clear what your essay will discuss.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which is essential for a strong argument.
coherence cohesion
You divided your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing different aspects of the issue.