Topic: Scientists agree that many people eat too mucch junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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Lots of researches illustrate that there is an increase in the population consuming fast

food

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, which affects negatively their health. Whether

this

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matter can be dealt with by

education

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or not is a controversial topic.

Although

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many

people

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argue that

this

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solution is possible,

this

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writer opposes

this

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opinion

due to

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the service and addictive substances of junk

food

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. It should be acknowledged that junk

food

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contains numerous addictive substances. As these meals are usually high in saturated fats and added sugars, the flavour is appealing and attractive, which makes consumers obsessed with them. Because of

this

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fact,

people

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tend to eat more in spite of knowing its detrimental impact on their health. Taking the USA as an example, there is a high rate of citizens who are obese.

Hence

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education

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cannot solve properly

this

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issue.

However

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, some individuals argue that educating

people

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since they are children about fast

food

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’s impact is efficient.

In other words

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, teenagers are able to understand

its

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the

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danger and avoid it.

Although

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this

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idea has its own logic, it is difficult to prevent humans from their desire to try new things.

Additionally

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due to

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companies’ colourful advertisements, children are persuaded to give it a try and find it hard to resist.

Thus

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, there must be additional policies, not only

education

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, to change consumer behaviour. From a personal perspective, fast

food

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is popular because of companies’ services. Not only is it fast to serve customers

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, but

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the affordable price

also

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attracts residents to pay for them rather than choosing healthy meals.

According to

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a survey in Australia, the majority of participants chose to grab a snack on their go to satisfy their carvings. Taking all into consideration,

education

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is not efficient enough to deal with

this

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problem.

Hence

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, local authorities should come up with strategies to make junk

food

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less tempting to

people

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[email protected]Sat May 18 2024

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task response

To improve your essay, make sure to address both sides of the argument more evenly. You have focused more on why education may not be effective, but spend an equal amount of time discussing why some people believe it could work.

coherence cohesion

Try to enhance logical flow by making clear transitions between paragraphs and ideas. For example, use linking words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'On the other hand,' to guide the reader through your argument.

task response

Provide more varied and specific examples to support your points. This could help to illustrate the validity of your arguments and make them more compelling to the reader.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your argument effectively.

task response

You have developed some clear and comprehensive ideas, particularly regarding the addictive nature of junk food and the impact of advertising on children.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Topic: Scientists agree that many people eat too mucch junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others believe that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause of individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both views and give your opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

“All education and healthcare should be funded by the government and free for everyone.” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

1.Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on protection of wild animals, and that money could be better spent on human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?