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Band 7.5

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society
In some nations,
people
 are living longer these days compared to the past. Some
people
 opine that it creates challenges for the authorities,
while
 others believe that society may get advantages if there is an ageing population in the community.
This
 essay will argue that the drawbacks of
this
 outweigh the benefits.
This
 essay will first demonstrate that they might increase healthcare
costs
 and strain on the economy, followed by an analysis of how the primary advantage, namely experience shared by older
people
, is not valid.   The main disadvantage of older
people
 is that they may enhance the
costs
 of medical
care
.
That is
 to say that older groups tend to require more medical
care
 and support services, which can lead to higher healthcare
costs
 for individuals and the government.
For example
, in countries, like Bangladesh, authorities allocate a significant amount of money for the betterment of older
people
.
Moreover
, an ageing population might create pressures on economic growth.
In other words
, as more
people
 retire, there are fewer workers to support them through taxes.
This
 can strain government budgets and social security systems.
For instance
, in many countries, older
people
 have left their jobs lately, which provides a tax burden to young
people
. Those opposed to
this
 say that older
people
 spread their experience in society.
Consequently
, other groups of
people
 get benefits by means of their shared experience.
However
, there is actually no evidence to support
this
 view and most of the time they feel sick and need extra
care
 from their family members. In Bangladesh, many
care
 homes have been established to provide for the needs of older individuals. In conclusion, increased healthcare
costs
 and the economic downturn that the ageing population poses for both authorities and individuals clearly exceed the flawed argument that
this
 community might be beneficial for society.
Submitted by mohammad39 on

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Detail Enhancement
To strengthen your essay, aim for more specific examples and data to back your points. Instead of broadly stating countries or scenarios, mention studies, reports, or statistics that can add weight to your argument.
Argument Complexity
Consider balancing the discussion by exploring more in-depth the benefits of an ageing population beyond the sharing of experience. Exploring other dimensions could provide a more nuanced perspective on the topic.
Structure
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that all contribute to a coherent argument.
Balance
You effectively address both sides of the argument, providing a reasoned stance on why you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
Example Use
Your use of examples, though needing more specificity, helps concretize your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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