In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #governments #society

In some nations,

people

are living longer these days compared to the past. Some

people

opine that it creates challenges for the authorities,

while

others believe that society may get advantages if there is an ageing population in the community.

This

essay will argue that the drawbacks of

this

outweigh the benefits.

This

essay will first demonstrate that they might increase healthcare

costs

and strain on the economy, followed by an analysis of how the primary advantage, namely experience shared by older

people

, is not valid. The main disadvantage of older

people

is that they may enhance the

costs

of medical

care

That is

to say that older groups tend to require more medical

care

and support services, which can lead to higher healthcare

costs

for individuals and the government.

For example

, in countries, like Bangladesh, authorities allocate a significant amount of money for the betterment of older

people

Moreover

, an ageing population might create pressures on economic growth.

In other words

, as more

people

retire, there are fewer workers to support them through taxes.

This

can strain government budgets and social security systems.

For instance

, in many countries, older

people

have left their jobs lately, which provides a tax burden to young

people

. Those opposed to

this

say that older

people

spread their experience in society.

Consequently

, other groups of

people

get benefits by means of their shared experience.

However

, there is actually no evidence to support

this

view and most of the time they feel sick and need extra

care

from their family members. In Bangladesh, many

care

homes have been established to provide for the needs of older individuals. In conclusion, increased healthcare

costs

and the economic downturn that the ageing population poses for both authorities and individuals clearly exceed the flawed argument that

this

community might be beneficial for society.

Submitted by mohammad39 on Thu May 09 2024

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Detail Enhancement

To strengthen your essay, aim for more specific examples and data to back your points. Instead of broadly stating countries or scenarios, mention studies, reports, or statistics that can add weight to your argument.

Argument Complexity

Consider balancing the discussion by exploring more in-depth the benefits of an ageing population beyond the sharing of experience. Exploring other dimensions could provide a more nuanced perspective on the topic.

Structure

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion that all contribute to a coherent argument.

Balance

You effectively address both sides of the argument, providing a reasoned stance on why you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

Example Use

Your use of examples, though needing more specificity, helps concretize your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might be the case ? do you think this is a positive or nagative situation ?

Many believe that being good at a sport is a result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both use and give your reason.

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this trend can bring negative influences on the youths and the society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?