You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
The modes of shopping have changed since the development of technology. More and more people do online shopping
instead
of going to a physical store. As a result
, small businesses
find it hard to survive in nowadays' society. In this
essay, I am going to examine how local communities and what we can do to alleviate this
problem.
If local shops are shut down, the city will become less attractive and it will definitely affect the vibe of the area. Let’s take Hong Kong as an example. Many physical stores were closed permanently during the pandemic and a lot of areas hasn't
recovered yet. Correct subject-verb agreement
haven't
Therefore
, there are, still, lots of empty shops on the street. As a result
, people have less willingness to go out so they start buying things online with chain companies.
In addition
, local stores usually offer lower prices of products and some may import goods from countries around to increase the variety of choices to attract customers. There will be fewer options for customers if there are only chained supermarkets left.
Despite the problems, there are some solutions. Firstly
, governments offer monetary incentives to encourage small business owners to start their businesses
. Money incentives like subsidies on rent can lessen the financial burdens that these owners. In addition
, governments can redevelop the communities and bring tourists to the area. If there are more people visiting, small businesses
will have revenue.
In conclusion, local stores give consumers more options and make a city vibrant. Without them, the city will look like a “ghost town”. In order to tackle these problems, governments can provide financial support for small businesses
and develop community-based tourism.Submitted by puimei822 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the impact of large supermarkets and online shops on local communities and suggesting solutions. However, providing more specific examples and data could strengthen the response further.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. More transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas could improve the logical flow further.
task achievement
Consider adding more detail to support your main points, such as specific examples or statistics to provide stronger evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly stated, which gives the essay a strong structure.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples and discusses both the problems and solutions clearly.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported, adding depth to the arguments presented.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.