It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

#travel #mind #countries #first

It is said by some people that we should learn new things by

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

to other countries,

while

others believe they need to explore their own

country

first

. In

this

essay, both viewpoints will be discussed before I present my opinion. On the

one

hand, it is undeniable that

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

abroad provides us with extensive knowledge about new cultures, traditions, and customs.

For instance

, when a British family visits Japan, they can learn about the local tradition of arranging furniture neatly to create a calm and focused living environment.

This

practice, known as 'tidying up,' is not just about cleanliness but

also

about enhancing mental well-being. Upon returning home, they can adapt and apply

this

experience to their own houses, leading to a more organized and peaceful living space.

Moreover

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

abroad can expose individuals to different languages, cuisines, and ways of life, broadening their horizons and fostering a greater understanding of the world.

On the other hand

, there are many places in our home

country

that remain unexplored,

such

as coastal areas, islands, and mountains. These sites offer unique cultural experiences that are often overlooked.

For example

, Thai residents from Bangkok, when visiting Doi Pui in Northern Thailand, can learn about the local Hmong culture and traditions that differ significantly from their own. Exploring

one

's own

country

first

can foster a deeper appreciation and understanding of

one

's national heritage and history.

Additionally

, domestic tourism supports the local economy, creating jobs and boosting revenue for local businesses.

Overall

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

both within and outside

one

's homeland is beneficial to

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

. From my perspective, it is better to explore our own

country

first

to gain a deep understanding of our history, traditions, and customs.

Moreover

, visiting local areas supports the local economy and helps improve the lives of residents. By understanding and appreciating our own culture

first

, we can

then

approach other cultures with a more informed and respectful mindset.

Submitted by nnatthinee on Sun May 19 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas that directly address the prompt. To make your argument even stronger, consider expanding on the reasons why exploring one's own country first can enhance international travel experiences later.

coherence cohesion

You have done a fantastic job with coherence and cohesion. Your points are well-organized, and each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. However, you could improve even further by including some contrasting points between the benefits of domestic travel and international travel in the body of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are both effectively written, framing the essay very well.

task achievement

The examples provided are specific and relevant, which enriches the content and supports your arguments well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

318 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed over time.

Nowadays people can buy a large variety of household goods more than ever before in most countries in the world.what is the cause of it?Is it a good or bad development?Give your opinion and examples.

The number of people who are overweight is constantly growing, and the only solution is to increase the prices of unhealthy food and drinks. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?