IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? Do you think this a positive or a negative situation?

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Nowadays, citizens all over the world prefer to choose to buy a
house
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 or a flat rather than to rent one. It has sparked a debate on the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon.
This
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 article will list possible causes
as well as
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 my opinions When it talks about the factors leading to
this
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 situation, it may vary depending on various aspects.
To begin
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 with, becoming an owner of a
house
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 could enhance their social status and show their levels of wealth
due to
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 the fact that buying a
house
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 needs a tremendous number of money.
Secondly
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, buying a flat could enable individuals to gain a sense of belonging.
As a consequence
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, they don’t need to worry about the landlord quitting the contract suddenly.
Finally
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, people could have a better living environment with the furniture and layout meeting their own habits and preferences.
For example
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, if a person rents a
house
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 and thinks the bed is uncomfortable to sleep in, he can’t replace it until getting the permission of the landlord. Personally, I think it’s a beneficial tendency and has positive influences on various aspects.
Firstly
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, it could facilitate the stability of the whole country
due to
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 the fact that citizens could have fixed places to live in.
Furthermore
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, it could enhance the cohesion of the community. Typically, the owners are more willing to engage in community activities than renters. In the end, individuals could concentrate more on their studies or careers without the need to consider the accommodation frequently. In conclusion, the reasons contributing to
this
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 situation can be various.
Moreover
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, it would have beneficial influences on our nation and residents.

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task achievement
You need to make sure that each paragraph has a clearly defined main idea that relates directly to the question and is followed through with adequate support and development. The essay has an introduction and conclusion, but they could be articulated more explicitly to summarise the main points and restate your opinion. Stay relevant to the question throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an acceptable structure, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Within paragraphs, you should ensure that ideas are not just listed but are explained and connected through cohesive devices and clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. Use varied structures to improve the flow of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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