Scientists agree that many people eat too much junk food and it is damaging their health. Some people think that this problem can be solved by educating people, while others belive that education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, researchers are convinced that the consumption of fast food has led to many detrimental health problems.

Therefore

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, many states that educating people can tackle

this

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issue easily;

however

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, others disagree. The following essay will discuss both views of

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phenomenon and claim my own opinion. It is obvious that educating people having healthier fat options and diets is necessary. Many citizens need to be taught about the benefits and drawbacks of convenience cuisine.

In addition

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, they are aware of the consequences of

this

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snack

such

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as obesity. To cite an instance, because of the rapid development of society, residents are busier and busier;

hence

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, it is easier to just buy inexpensive meals in the supermarkets or get some takeaway.

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, because they can control their intake of harmful fats, fast food influences slightly on them.

On the other hand

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, education is not only an effective method in order to alleviate

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problem. Many companies should produce less fast cooking or the government needs to increase the taxes on

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type of fare. Implementing junk foodstuff tends to healthier alternatives, perhaps even being encouraged to cook at home and lose weight.

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, unless humans can realize that

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kind of cuisine is detrimental to their health, they will have worse health including having a heart attack in order to take part in various outdoor activities. In conclusion, a convenient diet is more popular around the world because it can be prepared and served quickly. Notwithstanding, I strongly believe that humans need to be educated about both the positive and negative effects of

this

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type of food, especially children and teenagers.

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coherence cohesion

A little more consistency in developing the main points should be maintained. For instance, while you discuss the importance of educating people and their awareness of fast food, the examples provided do not completely align with the argument being made.

task achievement

Ensure examples used are more relevant and specific to the arguments made. For example, mention specific educational campaigns or government policies that have helped reduce fast food consumption.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task quite well by discussing both views and presenting your own opinion clearly.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly present, helping to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, making it generally easy to follow.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

junk food
nutritional content
long-term health consequences
unhealthy diets
healthy eating habits
meal planning
socioeconomic factors
accessibility
pervasive marketing
nutritional education
government regulations
advertising
dietary habits

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