Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Many

people

believe that

music

is a positive form of entertainment to brings

people

around the world with different backgrounds together. I strongly agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will provide some explanations.

Firstly

music

is an art that can be enjoyed by

people

in every nation with different cultures

although

the language is different.

People

can listen to the rhythms and still enjoy the

music

without understanding the lyrics.

Moreover

, the other reason

people

music

is based on the singer as an individual or

alsoa

Correct your spelling

also a

group that attracts

people

with their appearance and performance.

For instance

, in recent years many

people

from around the world hooked by K-Pop

such

as Blackpink or BTS from South Korea and tickets for their world tour concerts sold out very quickly in every country.

Secondly

people

of different ages can

also

have the same taste of

music

based on the melodies or the feeling when listening to

music

. To exemplify, there are so many albums containing old love songs that still exist from the older generations even the singer held a concert in

this

current time and

people

of all ages come to the concert.

Besides

, there is

also

music

that can be enjoyed by parents and their children that connects them. It can make the bonding between the family stronger. In summary,

music

has an important role in

people

’s lives and connects

people

with different backgrounds. It can

also

create a solidarity of

people

during a concert and enjoy the

music

together without being discriminated against by each other.

Submitted by hafizahnazir on Sun May 19 2024

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task response

The essay could benefit from a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed. Additionally, while the examples provided are relevant, they could be elaborated further to provide a more comprehensive response.

coherence cohesion

Improving the transitions between paragraphs and within the paragraphs will enhance the logical flow of the essay. At times, the essay feels slightly disjointed. Using linking words and phrases consistently would help improve cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is crucial for structuring the response effectively.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the reference to K-Pop bands like Blackpink and BTS, help to illustrate the points being made and ground the essay in contemporary context.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is a natural process which animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

People in many countries are spending less time with their families. What are the reasons, and effects of this

You have just spent a week with a friend on holiday. When you got home, you realized you had left your wallet there. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Thank your friend for the holiday Explain that you left your wallet in their house Give them instructions of how to send it back to you

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some educationalist think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at school to extend. Do you do that advantages outweigh disadvantages?