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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that there are now too many cars on the roads, and that they are spoiling our towns and ciities. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cars #roads #towns #ciities
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
show examples
 world, there is a growing argument about the increasing
number
 of
cars
 that spoil the aesthetic appeal of the cities. Advocates of banning driven
cars
 in cities believe that they spoil the visual appearance of the streets and buildings,
in addition
 to causing congestion. I am content that the
number
 of
vehicles
 should be reduced not only because of the aesthetical appeal of the towns but
also
 to mitigate the congestion and protect the environment from harmful emissions.
To begin
 with, those in favour of banning the
number
 of
vehicles
 in cities argue that it mars the beauty of the city.
In other words
,
vehicles
 increase the possibility of congestion, making
aesthetically
Correct pronoun usage
it aesthetically
show examples
 unappealing for visitors and tourists.
In addition
 to its contribution to the rise of harmful emissions.
Thus
, by limiting the
number
 of
vehicles
 or prohibiting their use in towns we can mitigate the negative effects caused by
this
 issue.
Moreover
, governments can establish other alternatives to encourage people to adopt different transportation modes.
For example
, governments can implement a more comprehensive transportation system, making it accessible and affordable to use
instead
 of private
cars
.
Additionally
, by establishing campaigns and programs, and raising public awareness of the environmental effects they may cause using private
vehicles
.
Thus
,
this
 can help
convey
Verb problem
convince
show examples
 citizens to opt for alternatives and contribute to the future of our planet.
Overall
,
after
this
 essay has provided the points mentioned above, it can be reiterated that
cars
 not only diminish the esthetical appearance of towns
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 affect our environment.
Therefore
, I am content that the
number
 of
cars
 should be reduced or banned, and governments should establish alternatives to encourage citizens to opt for different transportation modes.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Real-world examples can make your essay more convincing and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all points are fully elaborated and not repetitive. While the message is clear, some points are restated rather than expanded upon with fresh insights.
logical structure
The essay has a clear and logical structure, which makes it easy for the reader to follow the arguments presented.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well defined, providing a strong framework for the essay.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported throughout the essay, contributing to a strong overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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