IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Discuss the advantages and the disdavantages of study abroad

#disdavantages #study
It has been observed that many
students
 are going abroad for higher education as part of their degrees.
Additionally
, it will certainly increase their employment prospects in the future. In my opinion, it is more beneficial for
students
 to study in a foreign country despite all the challenges that they will inevitably face. Many foreign educational enterprises have experienced teaching faculty
as well as
 other facilities
such
 as laboratories that are equipped with the latest types of equipment.
This
 will help
students
 to gain better knowledge and understanding of all their mistakes.
For instance
, an individual graduating from King's College London will have more job opportunities.
Therefore
, gaining admission in the best foreign university will definitely boost the CV of the candidates, and eventually help them acquire good jobs.
On the contrary
, there are some challenges related to studying abroad as well.
This
 leads to loneliness and depression as one is away from family and is unable to make friends.
For instance
, many times the locals make fun of or bully foreigners just because they don't know their customs and don't speak the same language.
To sum up
, an increasing number of university
students
 are moving abroad for
further
 studies.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is a drawback of not being able to fit in a different environment, it greatly improves the chances of securing a good job and opens doors to a successful career.
Submitted by nejla.abdullayeva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this siteโ€™s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a largely effective response to the task with a clear discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad. However, there is room for improvement in the coherence and cohesion of your arguments. Consider using more transitional phrases to better link your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your essay develops a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could benefit from more signposting words and better linkage between sentences. Try using more transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand.'
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion, summarizing the main points well.
relevant specific examples
The examples provided are relevant and help support the main points of the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas presented are clear and comprehensive, making it easy for the reader to follow the arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ ยปโ€” a book that's free for ๐Ÿš€ Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: