How can we prevent child abuse (including physical abuse, emotional abuse, child labor,…)? Give your opinion and support it with reasons and examples taken from your reading, experience, or observation.

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Child
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abuse
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, which includes physical
abuse
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, emotional
abuse
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, and
child
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labor
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labour
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, is a severe problem that requires immediate attention and action. To successfully prevent
child
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abuse
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, I believe we need to concentrate on three areas: parental
support
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, societal
support
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, and government assistance.
Firstly
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, parental
support
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is essential. Many cases of
child
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abuse
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result from parental stress and a lack of information. Training parents on effective, nonviolent punishment methods can help to decrease
abuse
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both physically and emotionally.
For instance
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, programs
such
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as "Active Parenting" educate parents on promoting constructive
behavior
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behaviour
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via encouragement and clear communication rather than penalties.
This
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strategy helps reduce acute physical and mental suffering and builds a more supportive family atmosphere. Another
support
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should come from all of society. Communities should create situations in which families feel supported and connected.
Neighbors
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Neighbours
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, schools, and community groups may provide a network of care and awareness, intervening when they see indicators of
abuse
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. Encouraging community engagement and volunteerism can provide a protective net around vulnerable youngsters. 
Finally
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, government assistance is
also
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critical in the battle against
child
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abuse
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. Governments must implement strict anti-
child
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labor
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labour
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legislation and guarantee that children have access to education and a safe environment. Initiatives like hotlines for reporting
abuse
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and financing for
child
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protective services are essential.
Furthermore
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, measures that promote family stability,
such
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as parental leave and financial aid, might lessen the pressures that contribute to
abuse
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. To summarize, avoiding
child
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abuse
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necessitates a multifaceted approach that includes parent education, strong community networks, and effective government legislation. Together, we can make the world safer for our children, preserving their rights and fostering their potential.
Submitted by minhngoc.dtmn on

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments. Examples can help illustrate your points more vividly and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is logically structured and flows well, consider using transition words and phrases more frequently to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly. This can enhance the coherence and readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear and engaging introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized with a logical flow of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
supported main points
Your main points are well-supported with relevant details, which adds depth to your discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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