IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Globalization is creating a world with a single culture and destroying national identity in the process. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people say that
due to
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 the phenomenon of
globalization
Use synonyms
, the world nowadays is experiencing a lack of cultural diversity and each country is losing their distinction.
This
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 writer agrees with
this
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 because of the same clothing style and traditional cuisines.
To begin
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 with, it is vital to understand that
globalization
Use synonyms
 can affect the outfit of the population. To be more specific, citizens from developing countries often consider the dressing style of developed countries as a symbol of wealth, modernity and professionalism. Because of that, they will continuously seek, following fashion trends and
Use synonyms
globalization
Correct article usage
the globalization
show examples
 situation make these clothes far more accessible to developing communities.
As a result
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, traditional clothes will no longer have a place in developing nations and start to fade away. Take Vietnamese people as a contextual example, they used to wear Ao Dai daily in the past but nowadays, they are wearing casual clothes
as a consequence
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 of
globalization
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.
Furthermore
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,
globalization
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also
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 has a negative impact on traditional cuisine. It must be acknowledged that
globalization
Use synonyms
 contributes to the expansion of fast-food companies worldwide.
This
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 gave them opportunities to erect new restaurants around the world and offer people a wider variety of foods to choose from apart from their traditional dishes. Despite
this
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 might seem like a positive thing, it can make citizens adopt these new products in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 because they are affordable, convenient and reliable which will overshadow traditional foods.
For instance
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, many teenagers in Vietnam go to KFC for meals and only eat traditional meals on special occasions. In conclusion,
globalization
Use synonyms
 affects distinguishable clothing styles and traditional cuisines.
Hence
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,
this
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 essay has given clear points to agree with the statement that
globalization
Use synonyms
 is destructive to national identities through the creation of a single culture.

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language
Improve sentence variety and complexity to enhance readability and demonstrate advanced language skills.
content
Ensure to cover potential counterarguments for a more balanced discussion.
cohesion
Work on smoother transitions between the main points to improve the essay's flow.
example
The essay offers specific and relevant examples, such as the reference to Vietnamese clothing and cuisine, to support the main points.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the argument.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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