Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society.Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? how ddoes competitiveness affect individuals?

#competitiveness #quality #people #society #development #trend #ddoes #individuals

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Manny

Correct your spelling

Many

show examples

people believe that being competitive is something that everyone should have to be

labeled

Change the spelling

labelled

show examples

as good quality.

Although

it might lead to a better result, it has its own negative impact.

This

essay will elaborate more on

this

issue. On the one hand, having a competitive mind could make us want to do better in order to gain better

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

For instance

, if someone

are

Change the verb form

show examples

doing something in a group

then

each member

migh

Correct your spelling

might

have their own purpose, having a competitive mind will make them want to be the best and produce the best work they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

do.

On the other hand

competitive

Correct article usage

a competitive

show examples

environment might be tough for some people. They need to be as good as

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

and sometimes could affect their mental health.

For example

, a study in

korea

Change the capitalization

Korea

show examples

obtained

Verb problem

found

show examples

that suicide cases are increasing nowadays

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

final year

Add a hyphen

final-year

show examples

senior high

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

This

caused

Add a missing verb

is caused

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

burdensome

Change preposition

apply

show examples

expectation

Fix the agreement mistake

expectations

show examples

that they need to be accepted

Change preposition

into

show examples

prestigious

Add an article

a prestigious

show examples

university

Fix the agreement mistake

universities

show examples

. If they are not achieving it

then

most likely they will kill themself. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that competitiveness

bring

Change the verb form

brings

show examples

a lot of positive impacts but we should consider

Correct article usage

the negetive

show examples

negetive

Correct your spelling

negative

impact

Fix the agreement mistake

impacts

show examples

that could happen and avoid

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

as much as we can.

Submitted by pocutarifahzahrina on Tue May 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence, ensuring that ideas in each paragraph flow smoothly from one to another with appropriate linking words can enhance readability.

task achievement

Be careful with grammar and spelling. For instance, 'Manny people' should be 'Many people', 'are doing' should be 'is doing', and 'kill themself' should be 'kill themselves'.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which bounds the discussion effectively.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both positive and negative impacts of competitiveness.

task achievement

The examples provided in the essay are relevant and specific, which enhances the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

204 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Personal growth
Innovation
Productivity
Economic growth
Stress levels
Burnout
Cutthroat behavior
Resilience
Ethical considerations
Cooperation
Mental health issues
Capabilities
Strive
Motivation
Competitiveness

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible sollutions?
Nowadays, many lack time for themselves because of caring for the older members of their family. There are many consequences of this phenomenon; however, they can find some feasible methods to tackle this.
5
band
The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?
Nowadays. with the development of technology, the sience also enhance to serve the society and play a huge role in this system. So, I wholeheartedly concur with this issue.
4.5
band
Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?
In the present climate, social media has gained popularity among individuals. In order to, keep in touch with each other people are depending on social media. Although online media can bring some merits, I Believe that the potential drawbaks such as phsically and mentally ailments overshadow the benefits.
6
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
As a result of technological development, medicine research and general improvements in human health, scientists have pushed the existing aging limits to a never-before-seen timeframe and, not only did they prolong an individual's lifetime but they also managed to control time effects leading to a quality old age.
4.5
band
international travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and moore tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages.
Undoubtedly, in this modern era, a lot of modifications have taken place in this modern world. With this, international travel is becoming easier and cheaper for travellers. However, in the upcoming paragraphs I will discuss merits and demerits of the given statement.

Competitiveness is generally considered a good quality for people to have in society.Do you think it is a positive development or negative trend ? how ddoes competitiveness affect individuals?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible sollutions?

The most important aim of sience should be to improve people's live. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

international travel is becoming cheaper and countries are opening their doors to more and moore tourist. Do the advantages of increased tourists outweigh disadvantages.