Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

#people #gap #situation #measure #address

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Currently, there is a rise in the distance between the wealthy and needy

people

Use synonyms

. The root causes of

this

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are

due to

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the differences in not only opportunities but

also

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lifestyles

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, yet it can be tackled by the government who provide social welfare for the poor. To commence with, one of the reasons for

this

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is the diversity of chances in career.

In other words

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, the rich

also

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have their available social relationships, property and knowledge which promote them to higher positions in their occupations. Meanwhile, disadvantaged individuals do not have any chance to overcome their poverty or become affluent.

For example

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, 95% of impoverished white-collar workers in the UK could not move to the positions of managers because they did not have enough relationships in the firms.

In addition

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, another principal cause is the distinction in

lifestyles

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between the rich and the poor. To be more specific, poor

people

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tend to pursue extravagant

lifestyles

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and waste their money on negative purposes

such

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as using drugs and gambling or betting.

In contrast

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, prosperous

people

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just follow frugal lives

as well as

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invest their money in several projects or ventures that can make a profit for them.

As a consequence

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, the poor easily go bankrupt ,

while

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the rich

also

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become wealthier.

For instance

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, in 2021, The New York Times showed that the top 10 billionaires in the USA just paid 2$ for each breakfast,

whereas

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5 million citizens who lived in slums always spent 50$. A solution,

however

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, can be found in the government's actions towards the poor. The most effective approach is for

people

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who are deprived can receive social amenities like accommodations, food and drinks from local authorities.

As a result

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, these things will enhance the quality of their lives, leading to bridging the gap between the rich and the poor. Take Vietnam as an example here where 50 charity events happen every year to supply necessary facilities for deprived

people

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and they

also

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assisted more than 20000 citizens to relocate to adequate houses.

Therefore

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, the increase in the gap between affluent and poor individuals stems from inequality of work opportunities

along with

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diverse

lifestyles

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Nevertheless

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, supplying vital things for the needy will improve

this

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problem.

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Wed May 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay could be enhanced by defining certain terms or phrases more clearly, such as 'extravagant lifestyles.' Additionally, some phrases should be made more concise and direct for clarity.

coherence cohesion

There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly hinder the readability. For instance, 'the rich also have their available social relationships' could be rephrased for better clarity. Consider revising such sentences to make the essay more fluent.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Although the essay is generally well-structured, the ideas should flow more naturally from one to another. Using more transitional phrases might help add depth to the connection between paragraphs.

task achievement

Further divide the causes of the rich-poor gap into more distinct categories, and delve deeper into each, if possible. This would enhance the thoroughness of the task response.

task achievement

There should be more emphasis on how specific government actions directly lead to a reduction in the gap between the rich and the poor. This would strengthen the argument that government intervention is a viable solution.

coherence cohesion

The essay features a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. This strengthens the overall coherence of the piece.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples, such as statistics from the UK and USA, adds credibility and clarity to the arguments being made.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view by addressing both the causes of the rich-poor gap and potential solutions. This comprehensive approach helps fulfill the task requirements effectively.

coherence cohesion

Main points are well-supported with examples and explanations, adding depth to the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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18
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

367 words

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Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions . Do you agree or disagree?

Some think that printed books are not necessary in the digital era, because all writing can be stored electronically. Others think printed books still play an important role. Discuss both veiw and give your opinion.

some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in TV, videos games and other types of entertainments for children's leisure. how does this affect children. How do you think the problem can be tackled?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.