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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

#life #development
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In
this
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 day and age, advertisements have become highly popular, and humans can easily find them everywhere.
This
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 essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of
this
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 tendency before concluding that
this
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 is indeed an encouraging development. On the one hand, the growing popularity of advertising is disadvantageous to some extent.
Firstly
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, these promotional campaigns could disturb viewers’ enjoyment. Specifically,
due to
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 commercial breaks, which are becoming more frequent and present in almost everything we read or watch, viewers may find it difficult to enjoy their TV programs.
Secondly
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,
this
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 trend could lead to fake news and misleading information being disseminated extensively.
As a result
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,
this
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 could make media consumers consume detrimental information
as well as
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 believe in many scam organizations, which could cause them to lose a large amount of money.
On the other hand
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, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that promotions could be advantageous. One key rationale in
favor
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favour
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 of
this
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 view is that these advertisements could contribute to the advancement of the economy.
This
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 perspective could be
further
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 clarified by the fact that the ubiquity of advertising could help consumers know about the latest products and services which are available in the supermarket, thereby fostering the development of a thriving economy. Another justification is that without advertising, a plethora of corporations would face bankruptcy.
This
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 perception could be reinforced by the fact that if clothing brands' promotional campaigns do not reach customers, they may face closure in the near future. In conclusion,
while
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 it is irrefutable that advertising could have numerous negative impacts, I would contend that
this
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 phenomenon is a positive development.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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specific examples
Although your essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of advertising, incorporating more specific examples and evidence will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that each point is thoroughly developed. While you have provided reasonable arguments, expanding on them with additional details or explanations can strengthen your essay further.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is clear and logical, with both an introduction and conclusion present. This effectively frames your argument and provides a comprehensive overview.
complete response
Your response to the task is complete, with a balanced consideration of both positive and negative aspects of advertising. This comprehensive approach addresses the prompt fully.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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