IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age to drive cars and motorcycles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Road
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 accidents are on the increase all over the world. Some people argue that raising the
age
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 limit to drive motor vehicles will enhance
road
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safety
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. I partially agree with
this
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 statement.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will explain why I agree with
this
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 statement, followed by an analysis of why I disagree with
this
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 statement. On the one hand , physical fitness and a thorough understanding of
road
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 rules and regulations are essential for a good driver. There is a positive correlation between these factors and
age
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. It is easier for adults to balance the vehicles than youngsters as adults are physically strong enough to control a vehicle.
In addition
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, adults follow the
road
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 rules and regulations very carefully because they know the serious consequences of not following them properly.
For example
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, the number of
road
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 accidents was reduced significantly when Sri Lanka increased the
age
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 limit to obtain a driving license to 18 years old from 16 years old.
Conversely
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,
road
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safety
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 requires many other elements
such
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 as good
road
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 infrastructure and better
traffic
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 control systems. The condition of the
road
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 plays a major role in saving people from accidents and ; ensuring a safe journey.
Traffic
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 should be monitored using
traffic
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 lights or by
traffic
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 police. Failure to do so may result in multi-vehicle collisions, causing injuries and deaths. A case in point is that some African countries which have the highest minimum
age
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 requirement for driving
also
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 have higher accident rates. It shows that
age
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 is not the only factor which determines
road
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safety
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.
To sum up
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, I would argue that
while
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 increasing the
age
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 limit for motor vehicle driving, the advancement of the other components
such
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 as
road
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 infrastructure and
traffic
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 control systems should be considered for the
safety
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 of all who are on the
road
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introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively outlines the two main points of the essay, indicating a balanced viewpoint.
relevant specific examples
When stating examples, try to provide more specifics. For instance, in the Sri Lanka example, detailing how the reduction in accidents was quantified could make your argument more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider expanding on why age and physical fitness are correlated with better driving skills. More details on why adults follow rules carefully could strengthen your argument.
relevant specific examples
You provide accurate and well-explained examples to support your argument, such as the case of Sri Lanka and African countries.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is clear, and your organization effectively presents your arguments for both agreement and disagreement, leading to a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion summarizes the main points concisely and emphasizes the need for a multifaceted approach to road safety.
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