More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A growing number of people are experiencing significant weight gain.
While
some suggest that raising prices
of unhealthy Correct article usage
the prices
foods
might address the issue, I disagree. I believe that enhancing public awareness about the benefits of healthy eating and encouraging consistent physical activity
are more effective strategies for tackling obesity
.
First and foremost, launching awareness campaigns on healthy eating is a more efficient strategy than deterring unhealthy habits through price increases. These educational initiatives can potentially promote nutritional education and encourage healthier choices through workshops, social media, public service announcements, and similar efforts. When people become fully aware of the dangers of high-calorie foods
, they will voluntarily avoid buying them. However
, increasing the prices
of junk foods
, although
it may deter poor people, is unlikely to deter the wealthy from purchasing them, as they have the means to do so.
Equally important is motivating individuals to counteract their sedentary lifestyles by engaging in physical activity
. In my view, obesity
is not solely caused by consuming fattening foods
; an inactive lifestyle is also
a significant contributing factor. To illustrate, the decrease in physical activity
adds insult to injury and compounds the obesity
problem. Anyone spending long hours in front of the TV or working on their computers may gradually gain weight, even if they do not consume fattening foods
. Consequently
, merely increasing the prices
of unhealthy foods
will not adequately tackle the obesity
crisis.
In conclusion, there is more to obesity
than simple
consuming junk food. Change the word
simply
Therefore
, I dispute the belief that increasing the prices
of unhealthy food products will resolve the issue of obesity
once and for all. Educating the public on the dangers of fattening foods
through awareness campaigns and promoting increased physical activity
as alternative strategies may prove more effective in addressing this
public health concern.Submitted by kernas007 on
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task achievement
Try incorporating more specific examples to reinforce your points. For instance, data or case studies about the effectiveness of public awareness campaigns or the impact of physical activity on reducing obesity rates would enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Although the logical structure is strong, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using transitional phrases can help to reinforce the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and direct response to the prompt by presenting a clear stance and supporting it with appropriate arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing the essay and reiterating the main points clearly.
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