More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that the price increase of fattening foods will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A growing number of people are experiencing significant weight gain.
While
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some suggest that raising
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prices
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the prices
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of unhealthy
foods
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might address the issue, I disagree. I believe that enhancing public awareness about the benefits of healthy eating and encouraging consistent physical
activity
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are more effective strategies for tackling
obesity
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. First and foremost, launching awareness campaigns on healthy eating is a more efficient strategy than deterring unhealthy habits through price increases. These educational initiatives can potentially promote nutritional education and encourage healthier choices through workshops, social media, public service announcements, and similar efforts. When people become fully aware of the dangers of high-calorie
foods
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, they will voluntarily avoid buying them.
However
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, increasing the
prices
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of junk
foods
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,
although
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it may deter poor people, is unlikely to deter the wealthy from purchasing them, as they have the means to do so. Equally important is motivating individuals to counteract their sedentary lifestyles by engaging in physical
activity
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. In my view,
obesity
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is not solely caused by consuming fattening
foods
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; an inactive lifestyle is
also
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a significant contributing factor. To illustrate, the decrease in physical
activity
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adds insult to injury and compounds the
obesity
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problem. Anyone spending long hours in front of the TV or working on their computers may gradually gain weight, even if they do not consume fattening
foods
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.
Consequently
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, merely increasing the
prices
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of unhealthy
foods
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will not adequately tackle the
obesity
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crisis. In conclusion, there is more to
obesity
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than
simple
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simply
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consuming junk food.
Therefore
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, I dispute the belief that increasing the
prices
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of unhealthy food products will resolve the issue of
obesity
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once and for all. Educating the public on the dangers of fattening
foods
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through awareness campaigns and promoting increased physical
activity
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as alternative strategies may prove more effective in addressing
this
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public health concern.
Submitted by kernas007 on

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task achievement
Try incorporating more specific examples to reinforce your points. For instance, data or case studies about the effectiveness of public awareness campaigns or the impact of physical activity on reducing obesity rates would enhance your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Although the logical structure is strong, ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Using transitional phrases can help to reinforce the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete and direct response to the prompt by presenting a clear stance and supporting it with appropriate arguments.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, effectively framing the essay and reiterating the main points clearly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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