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Writing Samples
Band 7

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
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The number of doctors, teachers and other
professionals
Use synonyms
 who immigrate is increasing.
This
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 leads to massive problems in education and the health condition of people
due to
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 the lack of
professionals
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 in these fields. Providing job prospects and increasing salaries can tackle
this
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 problem when it comes to solutions.
This
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 left to have a better life in another
country
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 can be seriously harmful, because a poor society may become poorer in many subjects after the immigration of its workforce in important job positions.
For instance
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, since teachers have a huge impact on children, their role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 preparing them is deniable.
This
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 is the reason why governments should introduce certain types of laws to encourage these
professionals
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 to stay in their
country
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 despite the bad conditions that their hometowns have. Turning to solutions, creating more jobs with a high salary
as well as
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 ones with great future prospects can immensely attract more citizens to work in their own
country
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. Investing in some posts can be even beneficial for a
country
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such
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 as jobs in the medical field like practitioners, nurses and other
professionals
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 in
this
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 field.
This
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 is because as time passes, the life expectancy of people is becoming higher.
Consequently
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, people are getting older and they will use the medical facilities more and more in the near future.
This
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 provides a great income for the
country
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 and here we see how investment just pays off.
To sum up
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,
this
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 increasing rate of leaving a
country
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 with a bad economy can make the conditions even worse, so governments have no choice except to make workplaces more suitable for the workforce in different fields to convince them to stay and fight for the progression of their own
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, supported by specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help your arguments come across more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
general
Your introduction clearly states the problem and the potential solution, which sets up the essay well.
general
You have a good conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points and underscores the importance of the issue.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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