The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean Island between 2010 and 2017.
The line chart illustrates how many people
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visited a particular Caribbean
Island
from 2010 until 2017 as
tourists
.
Firstly
, the total
number
of
tourists
increased dramatically. At the beginning of the period, the
number
of
tourists
accounted for 1
million
individuals,
while
0.25
million
came from
cruise
ships and 1.75
million
were hosted on the
island
. The
number
of
visitors
constantly increased until 2015,
then
remained stable at 2.75
million
for one year and after that rose rapidly, ending up at 3.5
million
, which is three and a half times more compared to the start point.
Secondly
,
visitors
from
cruise
ships
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
become the majority. Started as a minority in 2010, they doubled their numbers in 2011,
then
went down to 0.25
million
in 2012 and constantly increased since
then
. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, the
number
of
visitors
who were accommodated on the
island
doubled between 2011 and 2013, peaked at 1.5
million
, but
then
, after 2015, surpassed by
cruise
ships’
tourists
, who represented 0.5
million
people more in 2017.
Overall
, the
number
of
tourists
that visited a Caribbean
Island
in a seven-year period increased substantially,
while
cruise
ships
Change the noun form
ship
show examples
visitors
from the weakest group have become the majority, overcoming the
visitors
who stayed on the
island
.
Submitted by vikiregev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words island, tourists, number, million, cruise, visitors with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: