It is important to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives? Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disavantages.
Whether or not taking risks is very vital in working and personal lives.The writer of
this
essay agrees with the notion of risking something in life
which has more benefits of receiving wonderful success and against a miserable circumstance outweighs the drawbacks of failure.
It must be recognized that high rewards always belong to a courageous individual who challenges themself in risky situations. In other words
, if the person who risks their life
in difficulties they will have more high achievements in their life
.For instance
, Bill Gates decided to risk his life
by leaving the university to establish the Microsoft company
which is very well-known and successful nowadays, subsequently
, he has become one of the richest people in the world due to
that wise decision.
Another crucial point is to get away from poverty. To explain further
, some organisations which seem likely to go bankrupt often spend the whole money on high-quality products that have a potential attraction to the customers. Therefore
, these products can help companies escape from running out of money.Take the Apple company
as a contextual example, where there was an immense debt due to
the payment of a mortgage , however
, this
company
continued to loan money from Samsung company
which accounted for 100 billion dollars invested in their best product such
as iPhone
which is very attractive to the consumers Correct article usage
the iPhone
also
make the financial rise for Apple, Leading to becoming one of the most stable firms.
In contrast
, failure should also
be considered when taking risks. This
is due to
the fact that unless individuals succeed in their risk, the loser absolutely will take a lot of adverse consequences which are relative to relationship, reputation, and finance. This
may be true but people must prepare for the worst situation by prediction so that they can also
minimize the extent of failure.
In conclusion, the pros of taking a risk, which are
to have a big achievement and create interventions before bankruptcy outweigh the disadvantages of failing.Change the verb form
is
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task achievement
The essay needs a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader on the writer's stance. For example, 'This essay argues that the advantages of taking risks far outweigh the disadvantages.'
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are lengthy and could be made more concise to improve clarity. Short, clear sentences will better communicate your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Better transitions between paragraphs would enhance the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Nevertheless' can be helpful.
task achievement
The essay provides specific and relevant examples, such as Bill Gates and Apple, which strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The writer effectively presents both sides of the argument, acknowledging the potential disadvantages while highlighting the benefits of taking risks.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points effectively and restates the author's stance, which gives a rounded feel to the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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