Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefilt teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefilt

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Some individuals contend that teenagers should be obliged to volunteer for community efforts in their free time. So it would be both advantageous to youth and society. My firm conviction is that unpaid public service can expand their perspectives, help them choose a vocation, and be beneficial to places that workers need urgently. The primary reason is that adolescents tend to be curious in

this

period. Unfortunately,

due to

school and household, they do not have time to explore and try new things.

As a result

, when they reach adulthood, they do not know whether they like it or not.

For example

, they can meet disabled people, work in hospitals or help organize events. Different activities would give them the opportunity to meet people, gain knowledge, and find their hobbies. If not at least they will know what they do not love.

Additionally

, mandatory job offers a huge gift to experience the profession they are interested

Change preposition

in.

show examples

In accordance, if they are keen on nutrition, they could intern at a company that prepares school meals.

Furthermore

, If you planning to be a marketer, you can help any organisation that has a marketing section, and tell them you want to be unpaid, and they will gladly accept you. One of the uproots of successful experts is that they have explored opportunities in their career before choosing it, not by their only expectations. Having volunteers can be a great power for places with a lack of manpower,

such

as hospitals, schools and non-governmental organizations.

For instance

, a teacher who works with above 40 kids, is needed teacher's assistant.

On the other hand

, a pupil who wants to be a teacher in future

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

explores ideas to teach children

while

working. It is a win-win condition for high schoolers and the public on both sides.

Overall

, youngsters are required to do social service

according to

what they want to be in the coming years. It is an innovative decision that increases the possibility of choosing their occupation right and extends awareness of different aspects of guidelines.

Moreover

, civilization can use unpaid human resources when needed.

Submitted by Ariunaa on Sun Dec 01 2024

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task achievement

Strengthen your examples with more specific details. For instance, if you mention volunteering in hospitals, describe specific tasks or impacts.

task achievement

Clarify any ambiguous points. For example, ensure that sentences clearly differentiate perspectives on volunteering.

coherence cohesion

Use of cohesive devices, such as connectors and transitional phrases, could be more consistent to enhance flow.

task achievement

The essay offers a clear stance and extensive explanation of the viewpoint in favor of teenagers engaging in unpaid community work.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion, with a clear opening stance and summarizing conclusion.

task achievement

Main points, such as the benefits for both teenagers and community, are well-supported in several paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

350 words

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Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefilt teenagers and community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some cities, the government has tried to reduce traffic. For instance, they imposed a congestion tax during rush hours. Do you think this development is positive or negative?

Nowadays, we are surround by advertising in our daily lives. Some people believe this has a positive effect on society. Others, however, say that it is a negative development. Discuss with both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?