THE CHART SHOWS ATTENDANCE OF PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT AGES IN MUSIC EVENTS IN AUSTRALIA IN 2006

PRESENTED FOR CONSIDERATION IS A DIAGRAM RELATING TO THE PROPORTION OF ATTENDEES IN THREE DIFFERENT

MUSIC

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EVENTS OF FIVE DIVERSE AUSTRALIAN

AGE

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GROUPS DURING 2006. IT CAN

ALSO

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BE NOTICED THAT THE UNITS WERE MEASURED IN PERCENTAGE.

OVERALL

Linking Words

, IT CAN BE SEEN THAT THE RATE OF PARTICIPATION WAS MITIGATED WHEN THE

AGE

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INCREASED, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF THE 35-44

AGE

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GROUP

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ADDITIONALLY

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, POPULAR

MUSIC

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EVENTS WERE MEASURED FOR THE MOST COMMON AMNG DIFFERENT GROUPS OF AGES. WITH REGARD TO POPULAR MUSICAL FESTIVALS, THE 15-24

AGE

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GROUP

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WAS RECORDED FOR THE HIGHEST RATE IN POPULAR GENRE WITH 38%

WHILE

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THE LOWEST FIGURE FOR

THIS

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CATEGORY WAS THE OLDEST

GROUP

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WITH 5%.

WHILE

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IT WAS ESTIMATED THAT POPULAR TYPES OF

MUSIC

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EVENTS REDUCED WHEN THE ATTENDEES GOT OLDER, THERE WAS A DISSIMILAR TREND FOR PEOPLE WHOSE AGES VARIED FROM 35 TO 44 WITH 33%. LOOKING AT THE REMAINING STATISTICS FOR

FURTHER

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DETAILS, CLASSICAL

MUSIC

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DATA FOR ALL

AGE

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GROUPS WERE QUITE SIMILAR, RANGING FROM 8% TO 11%. IN REFERENCE TO OPERA, THE 35-44

GROUP

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FIGURE WAS THE MOST DOMINANT WITH 25%

WHILE

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THE REMAINING

AGE

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COMMUNITIES WERE MEASURED FOR 13%, 14% AND 15% FOR 15-24, 25-34 AND 45-54

ALONG WITH

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THE 55 PLUS

AGE

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GROUP

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RESPECTIVELY.

May 27, 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, age, group with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

204 words

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THE CHART SHOWS ATTENDANCE OF PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT AGES IN MUSIC EVENTS IN AUSTRALIA IN 2006

In many parts of the world, children and teenagers are spending more and more of their time indoors. What are the causes and how it could be solved?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. Which approach do you think has more advantages? Are there any disadvantages to children having a school uniform?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.