Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects- Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some individuals argue that
history
is one of the main school lessons and other
people
believe that topics including
science
and
technology
are more necessary than
history
.
While
history
subject can help pupils to pay attention to traditions, I think
science
and
technology
are more important because these kinds of lessons can help young
people
to achieve more success. On the one hand, youngsters do not pay attention to historical events and the majority of them do not know what happened in their country. Many
people
think that studying
history
subject should be compulsory in school plans in order to increase the younger generation's knowledge about their countries.
In addition
, many parents have the idea that it can help their children to show more respect for the customs.
For instance
, Iranian teenagers do not pay attention to traditional ceremonies like Nowrouz and its concept, they just like
this
event because they can have joyful times and parents insist that schools should spend more time on historical events by holding
history
classes.
However
, I believe that
this
subject can not help young
people
to
gain
more achievements in the future.
On the other hand
,
science
and
technology
subjects are thought to be more useful in the modern world and can help the young community to achieve promotion. Nowadays,
science
and
technology
topics are focused and all cutting-edge
companies
would rather employ individuals who are experts in different sciences
such
as computer
science
. It can be seen that
companies
related to
technology
have more occupations and if young
people
have knowledge about a specific
technology
can promote and
gain
more income.
For example
, employees in different high-tech
companies
like Apple and IBM not only have high wages, but
also
they
gain
promotions if are experts. In my opinion, these kinds of subjects are more important than
history
because they are the basic demands of high-tech
companies
. In conclusion,
although
history
can help the younger generation to respect customs and traditions, it can not be useful to
gain
achievements and promotion and cutting-edge
companies
need
people
who are professionals in
technology
and
science
and
that is
why these kinds of subjects should be the main topics in the academic places.
Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is a positive aspect. However, consider elaborating more on counterarguments to provide a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance fluency and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
Each main idea is supported with explanations and examples, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical context
  • cultural heritage
  • societal development
  • scientific advancements
  • technological innovations
  • economic growth
  • global challenges
  • educational curriculum
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • innovation-driven economy
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