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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
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In recent times, there has been a debate about the curfew force on teenagers in the United States. These curfews aim at not allowing small children to go outside unless accompanied by an adult at certain times. On the one hand, I strongly support the idea of not letting adolescents leave their houses by themself especially at night as it can involve high risks
such
 as safety and crime. The crime rates have increased in recent years in the US which involves juveniles as being victims which is dangerous in society.
For instance
, the criminals take advantage of the little children because of their weakness and seeing them alone on the streets could end up becoming the victims to these criminals. On the flip side, forcing a curfew could
also
 take away the freedom of the adolescents in the society which could hinder their decision-making skills.
As adolescents
Correct word choice
Adolescents
show examples
 are at the stage of their life where they start to develop an independent skill which helps them to make decisions on their own. And, if these curfews are imposed which require them to be dependent on someone to go outside
then
 it could lead to their total dependency on their parents. In conclusion, imposing restrictions on juveniles to go out without being accompanied by an adult could involve safety concerns
due to
 the rise in crime rates but not allowing them could
also
 lead to consequences which could affect their decision-making skills. I believe that the risk involved is more than its disadvantage;
however
, with some proper guidance by their parents
such
 as making them aware of possible criminal situations which could save them from becoming victims and can enhance their decision-making skills.
Submitted by hassan05.quadri on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
You have included a clear introduction and conclusion, which bookend your essay nicely and provide a full response to the task.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
The main points are, for the most part, well-reasoned and relevant to the topic.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enforce
  • juvenile
  • repercussions
  • autonomy
  • adolescence
  • paternalistic
  • delinquency
  • municipality
  • ordinance
  • authoritarian
  • peer pressure
  • social dynamics
  • civil liberties
  • community policing
  • preventative measures
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