Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences.Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In the contemporary era,
crime
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is a serious problem in different countries. Some individuals believe that the best way to reduce
crime
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is by giving longer
prison
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sentences
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,
while
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others believe that there are better alternative ways to reduce
crime
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. Two aforementioned opinions will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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, longer
prison
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sentences
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help prisoners to repent for their crimes. Depending on the level of the
crime
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, the culprit will have an appropriate
prison
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term. If the punishment is long, criminals have enough time to regret their deeds. They realise that what they have done is wrong, and they strive to become better people.
As a result
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, they are an example for people who are going to fall into the path of sin.
For example
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, in Vietnam, offenders are given
prison
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sentences
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to the death penalty depending on the severity of their
crime
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.
Therefore
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, I contend that
this
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is highly beneficial to implement because
this
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may reduce the potential crimes in the future.
On the other hand
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, many believe can be reduced by exploring alternative approaches. In the modern era, social quality has developed day by day, an effective method to prevent
crime
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is by making cities safer through increased security measures,
such
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as building more surveillance cameras or renting additional local police.
For instance
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, cities with enhanced security measures have managed to reduce the rate of crimes without using severe punishments . In conclusion, I personally believe that long-term
prison
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sentences
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are more helpful in reducing the
crime
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rate because they let prisoners realize that what they did was wrong and help them become a better person.
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task response
To improve task response, consider exploring both sides of the argument more deeply and equitably. While you have touched on both views, a more balanced analysis, ensuring equal weight to each perspective, can strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, improving transitions between ideas can enhance the logical flow. Ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one with clear signaling of each point and linking of ideas across the text.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively outlines both perspectives on the issue, setting a clear context for the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the writer's opinion, providing a strong synthesis of the essay’s arguments.
supported main points
The essay includes specific examples, such as the reference to Vietnam's sentencing, which enriches the discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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