IN SOME CITIES, PUBLIC PARKS AND OPEN SPACES ARE BEING CHANGED INTO GARDENS WHERE LOCAL RESIDENTS CAN GROW THEIR OWN FRUIT AND VEGETABLES. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES?

IN AN EVER-PROGRESSIVE SOCIETY, playground AND OUTDOOR SITES ARE BEING REPURPOSED INTO TREE-PLANTING LANDS FOR DWELLERS IN SOME CITIES. IN LIGHT OF
THIS
, I CONTEND THAT THE DISADVANTAGES OF REDUCING A SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND ALLEVIATING LOCAL well-being OUTWEIGH THE BENEFITS OF RAISING AWARENESS OF HEALTHY CONSUMPTION. ON THE ONE HAND, IT IS VITAL TO UNDERSTAND THAT NEW PUBLIC GARDENS POSE A THREAT TO THE LOCAL COHESION. TO BE SPECIFIC, PLANTING ACTIVITIES WOULD OCCUPY MOST OF THE SPACE WHICH USED TO BE THE CULTURAL EXCHANGE SPOTS AND REGULAR MEETINGS.
CONSEQUENTLY
, LOCAL RESIDENTS ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO MEET UP WITH EACH OTHER COMMONLY WHICH DIRECTLY DETERIORATE COMMUNITY BONDS. ONE CLEAR CASE OF
THIS
IS AGRICULTURE-BASED NATIONS, ESPECIALLY CHINA, ONCE THE GOVERNMENT DEMOLISHED ALL PUBLIC playground IN THE OUTSKIRT
DUE TO
INCREASING DEMANDS IN FARMING EXPORTATION.
THIS
WAS RESULTED IN A RISING AMOUNT OF RESIDENT ARGUMENTS IN THE PAST FEW YEARS.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, SOME PEOPLE,
HOWEVER
, JUSTIFIED THAT PLANT-GROWING SPACES ARE ESSENTIAL AS THEY ENCOURAGE CITIZENS TO BE AWARE OF HEALTHY DIETS.
THIS
IS BECAUSE WHEN INDIVIDUALS HARVEST THEIR OWN CROPS,
THIS
WILL BOTH BE BENEFICIAL IN TERMS OF FINANCIAL SAVING AND STIMULATING PEOPLE'S ENJOYMENT OF HEALTHY MEALS.
THIS
IS RIGHT TO A CERTAIN EXTENT,
HOWEVER
, THE MORE TREES ARE PLANTED THE MORE FERTILIZERS AND PESTICIDES ARE IN NEEDED IN ORDER TO BE PRODUCTIVE AND EFFICIENT.
HENCE
, THOSE ACTIVITIES WHICH NEED ARTIFICIAL CHEMICALS IN ORDER TO SUCCEED WILL CERTAINLY HAVE ADVERSE IMPACTS ON THE ENVIRONMENT. ANOTHER FACTOR WORTH CONSIDERING IS MITIGATING fitness QUALITY.
IN OTHER WORDS
, PUBLIC PARKS PROVIDE SUFFICIENT SPACES AND PROPER AMBIANCE FOR EXERCISING.
THEREFORE
, IF THESE PLACES ARE FILLED UP WITH PLANTS, HUMAN WILL LOSE THEIR TERRORITIES TO KEEP FIT. AS A NATURAL OUTCOME, CITIZENS WILL BE RELUCTANT TO PARTAKE IN OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES AS THERE ARE NO LONGER ANY SITES THAT ARE ABLE TO SUPPLY STANDARD REQUIREMENTS FOR THOSE EVENTS. AN ARTICLE FROM SPAIN REVEALS THAT
,
Remove the comma
apply
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WITH REGARD TO RECENT CHANGES IN SPANISH COSMOPOLITAN, NEW PUBLIC SPACES PROVIDED ALWAYS RESONATE WITH LOCAL HEALTH INCREMENTS. TAKING ALL POINTS INTO ACCOUNT, IT HAS BEEN CLEARLY SHOWN THAT THE MERITS OF HEALTHY DIET AWARENESS IS OUTWEIGHED BY LOCAL fitness AND SENSE OF UNITY REDUCTION.
THEREFORE
, EVEN IF PLANTING VEGETABLES AND FRUITS ARE ESSENTIAL, IT SHOULD NOT OVERSHADOW THE BENEFITS OF LOCAL playground.

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introduction conclusion
Your introduction is clear, but ensure that it accurately outlines the points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
complete response
While you have provided relevant examples and reasons, try to provide more balanced arguments by developing the advantages and disadvantages equally.
clear comprehensive ideas
Some of your ideas need clearer explanations. Make sure each point is fully explained to enhance reader understanding.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical flow, but improve transitions between paragraphs for better coherence.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urban Agriculture
  • Community Engagement
  • Social Interaction
  • Physical Exercise
  • Mental Relaxation
  • Fresh Produce
  • Sustainability
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon Footprint
  • Air Quality
  • Educational Opportunities
  • Horticulture
  • Teamwork
  • Sustainable Living
  • Food Security
  • Locally-grown
  • Nutritious
  • Neighborhood Bonds
  • Urban Sustainability
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