IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 (measured in
pounds
Use synonyms
 sterling)
consumer
Replace the word
consumed
show examples
five
Change preposition
by five
show examples
 different goods (cars, computers, books,
perfume
Use synonyms
 and
cameras
Use synonyms
) in
France
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent more
money
Use synonyms
 than
France
Use synonyms
 in the given time period. Both
France
Use synonyms
 and
UK
Use synonyms
 accounted
most
Change preposition
for most
show examples
 of their
money
Use synonyms
 for cars.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 spent
least
Change the article
the least
show examples
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
perfume
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 spent on
cameras
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the most significant difference in expenditure between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 countries was
cameras
Use synonyms
. First and
above all
Linking Words
, people in the
UK
Use synonyms
, spent about 450,000
pounds
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 in
France
Use synonyms
 were 400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 with regard to cars.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the
UK
Use synonyms
 expenditure on books
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
, about 400,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 respectively. In the
UK
Use synonyms
,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of their
money
Use synonyms
 spent on
cameras
Use synonyms
 (350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
)
over
Add a missing verb
was over
show examples
 double that of
France
Use synonyms
, which was 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the total expenditure on consumer goods was higher in
France
Use synonyms
. Above 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 was spent by
French
Correct article usage
the French
show examples
 on computers which was marginally more than
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
 who spent about 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
. In terms of
perfume
Use synonyms
, neither by British nor by French spent much on
perfume
Use synonyms
 which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 around 200,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in
France
Use synonyms
 and just below 200,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words money, pounds, perfume, cameras, france, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
What to do next:
Look at other essays: