IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and the pie chart illustrates data about the funding of police for for 2017 and 2018 in Britain area.

The table and the pie chart illustrates data about the funding of police for for 2017 and 2018 in Britain area.
The table and the pie chart
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 data about the funding of police for
for
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
2017 and 2018 in
Britain
Replace the word
the British
show examples
 area. The sources of
money
Use synonyms
 are
showed
Change the form of the verb
shown
show examples
 in the table and the pie charts describe the distribution of the fund.
Overall
Linking Words
, incomes of the
money
Use synonyms
 mostly come from national leaders
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by Local Taxes and other resources. The amount of police
budget
Use synonyms
 was spent on officers and staff salaries, technology and facilities
such
Linking Words
 as buildings and transportation, respectively. Funding is supplied mostly by the authorities, the amount of donated
money
Use synonyms
 was 175.5m in 2017 and it slightly increased to 177.8m in 2018.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
money
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed by Local Taxes was the second highest, it was 91.2m in 2017 and increased approximately over 10% in 2018.
Use synonyms
Money
Add an article
The money
show examples
came
Correct pronoun usage
that came
show examples
 from other resources was 38m and 38.5 in 2017 and 2018, respectively.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
 police
budget
Use synonyms
 in 2017 was 304.7m and in 2018 was 318.6m which was slightly higher. A large amount of
money
Use synonyms
 was invested in workforce salaries, it accounted for 75% and 69% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 in 2017 and 2018. The
money
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on facilities was the second largest, it was 17% of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 which was unchanged in 2017 and 2018.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 technology was not a popular topic in both 2 years, the
money
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
paid for technology slightly rose from 8% to 14% in 2017 and 2018.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, budget, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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