WRITING TASK 2 You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
With the availability of
internet
, Correct article usage
the internet
people
are able to learn more about health science. Consequently
, some people
may opt for other medicine
and Fix the agreement mistake
medicines
treatment
rather than going to the doctor like they used to. Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
This
short essay examines whether this
development
is positive or negative.
First,
there may be more reasons as to why people
are choosing different medication and treatment methods other than because of what they learn online. The rise of the internet happened simultaneously with technological advancement and economic development
around the world. This
leads to an Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
ever increasing
number of ways to address health issues, each having various costs and side effects. Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
For instance
, some people
in Myanmar may want to get an injection from the clinic as a quick cure to a cold while
others may prefer to get cold medicine over the counter. It may be a matter of preference as both of these options are affordable and accessible.
In my opinion, this
development
of trying alternative methods is positive because it shows that human beings are willing to adapt. The scientific world has something new to offer the public every day and we can benefit from newer methods which tend to be better than the old. For example
, some doctors advise us not to rely on modern medicine too much because we would build up resistance to them. We can decide to have some decaffeinated tea to cure a headache instead
of taking some painkillers. By doing so, we are not only saving time and money that involves in
a simple visit to the healthcare provider but Change preposition
apply
also
doing our bodies a favor
through healthy decisions.
Change the spelling
favour
To conclude
, there are various reasons why people
may attempt options other than visiting their regular doctor to treat their health issues. I believe that this
is a good development
in our society because it is good to take all the available options into careful consideration before deciding what we do to our bodies.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and relevant response to the task question. However, consider defining what alternative medicines encompass to give your essay more clarity. This will help in fully addressing potential concerns about using alternative treatments.
task achievement
While the main points are supported with examples, adding more detailed examples or data can further strengthen your arguments. For example, rather than just mentioning Myanmar, you might describe alternative treatments in different cultures and how they've been perceived over time.
coherence cohesion
The essay's logical structure is good, but it could be improved by making the progression of ideas even smoother. Try using more transitional phrases to link different parts of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider sequencing your ideas more logically. For example, discuss the reasons for opting for alternative treatments first, then delve into whether this is a positive development later.
introduction conclusion present
You did a good job by providing a solid introduction and a strong conclusion summarizing your viewpoint effectively.
supported main points
The essay is generally well-structured with clear main points supported by relevant examples. This makes your argument easy to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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